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November 17, 2016

When Giving the Best Isn’t the Answer

22 Comments/ 518/ 1

I always like to give the best when I can.  There is just something that makes me happy when I can give the best gift, the best meal, or even the best of myself.  There is nothing like that feeling when a gift is received and the receiver raves over it because it really is the perfect gift.

When a meal comes together and it is perfect it makes my heart happy.  It does not have to be gourmet or over the top with fancy ingredients but when it all comes out perfectly timed and tasting fabulous I feel that I have done a great job.

I can also tell when I give the best of myself to someone else. That usually means that I have taken the time to be present and be there for that person in some way that goes beyond the normal conversation.  It warms my heart when I know that I have achieved that.

Recently I gave what I thought was the best.  In actuality it was what was best in my eyes but not in the eyes of the receiver.  Let me explain.

My mom got a new larger bed when she moved to her new apartment this past summer.  She didn’t have sheets to fit and really wanted a spare pair so she could have one set ready to go on the bed when the housekeepers came to change the sheets weekly.  I assured her that I had extra sheets for a queen size bed and I could make sure she had some.

So I sorted through my sheets and found the best set that I had.  They had a really high thread count and were heavy and sturdy and solid.  They were the best I could offer her so that is what I gave her.  Because my mom deserves the best.

But then I found out that she really didn’t like them.  They were too heavy for her to pull out of the washer and dryer.  They weren’t as soft as the ones she used to have which honestly were probably about 100 thread count.  Our ideas of what was the best were different.  They were actually on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

So I had to step back a bit,  realize that my best is not always what someone else thinks is best and recalibrate my thinking a little bit.  This obviously does not just apply to sheets.  It applies to life.  My idea of what is best can be way off the mark for someone else.

My lesson?  Listen and learn.  Be aware that my way is not the only way.  My best may not be exactly what is needed in any situation.

And in case you wondered –  a new set of sheets is on its way to my mom now.  A set that is softer and not as deluxe in my standards but a set that will make her happy.  In the end her best is the best.

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