One of my friends was having a bad day and said on her Facebook status that she needed a “do over”. Later in the day I was at a retail store and the cashier was having a bad day and we laughed about how sometimes we just needed a “reboot” on the day. I took it a bit farther and said there were times I just wanted a “reboot” on my body as well as my day!
So it got me to thinking. About do overs and reboots and starting over. How many hours have I wasted on worrying about what I did or didn’t do? How many hours have I whiled away wishing something had turned out differently? How many hours have I spent thinking about how a different scenario would have played out if I had just changed one little thing about my day? How many hours have I spent thinking and wishing I had said something differently? Or maybe wishing I had just said something? If I added all these up it would most likely be an astronomical number that I could not comprehend.
I don’t have the magical reboot button but I do have control over how much time I invest in regretting decisions. What is done is done. My brother in law, Carlton, has a hard time talking about the past when it involves difficult things. I don’t think that this is unique to folks with Down Syndrome—I think it is difficult for all of us to confront difficult times in our past. Carlton says “the past is in the past” and will not discuss it. I have tried time and time again to have the discussion with him that the past is what helps create who we are today and that we build on the past but that is lost on him. He just wants to forget it. I understand that to some degree.
I also understand that I am who I am today because of choices and decisions and paths that I chose over the years. I am like an archaeological dig—-the many layers of me are based on my experiences. When I think about that reboot button now I think that I would not want that because it would erase some of my layers. And in my case—layers are good. They are part of me. There is the layer of innocence, the layer of discovery, the layer of excitement, the layer of insecurity, the layer upon layer of love and compassion, the layer of sadness and grief, the layer of joyfulness and the layer of satisfaction. Today I am embracing my layers and invite you to embrace yours, too!
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Well put my friend. I have wasted much to much time wishing some things had gone differently or questioning my decisions. Today is Thanksgiving in Canada and I am very thankful I have had the life I have had and the people in it. No, I don´t want to reboot and erase some layers. All experience is good, even if it didn´t feel good at the time. Thanks for your wonderful posts. <3
Thank you, Darlene. I think this post was one that people could really identify with because we all have gone through experiences that have been tough to get through or that we wish had gone different. But it is part of who we are and an important part of “us”. The only time that I think it could be bad would be is someone uses it as a “reason” to not move on. Thanks for stopping by!
There is an old phrase that reads something like ‘Those who fail to remember/learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.’ That saying holds much truth but there are those events that fall into a category of “beyond our control/influence” and, because of the extreme pain they caused, are best left in the past rather than being allowed to have such powerful control over the present. Personally, I have a couple of those events in my past that even approaching a hint of those moments brings overwhelming pain and sadness…….mostly of dashed dreams and hopes. It is in those moments that I turn to the One Who is my Source of true joy and peace and, once again, place it in His hands.
I’m usually not one to wish for a “reboot” but definitely have had those times when I needed “defragging”!!!! LOL!!!!!!
Thank you so much for your wise words. I can always count on you to make me think a little bit deeper and ponder things. Your quote is a good one and yes—we know who to turn to, don’t we? What a great feeling.
Amen, my Friend.
If we had chosen differently or done differently then what? I can do an instant replay of life’s events I wish had done differently (especially in the shower) but what I can’t really see is the ultimate outcome if I had made a different choice (cue movie Sliding Doors). I can only see where I am. Recently, I was beyond furious with the Chicago Police Department. There are all kinds of things I should have done differently. And it really didn’t matter that the ultimate result was favorable to me. The officer was a complete jerk. Replaying my wrongs took so much energy and I was in an endless replay loop so finally I just decided every time I thought of the incident to grit my teeth and send love and light to the officer and let it go. Funny, it really did work. I rarely think of it now and when I do I haul out the love and light. Kind of phony because I sure didn’t love him or wish him well (more like hoping he suffered terrible but not fatal pain)but something about the action helped me move forward. Same thing when I am a jerk. RARELY happens but sending my better intentions (to the universe, if I can’t fix it directly) helps. Maybe this is what you call prayer. 😀 Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom, Katybeth. I can tell you recent times when I replayed something over and over in my mind and it was just driving me nuts Totally nuts. And then I realized what I was doing to myself and that I could not change the outcome. Funny thing is I stepped up and approached the person with kindness and guess what? It totally was ME! I had misinterpreted her message. Totally my bad. Will I remember this lesson next time? Probably not but I hope I do. Thanks for sending your great thoughts my way.
I understand completely and agree totally!!!
I know we are not alone! Thanks for stopping by!
So true. So many layers–all a part of who we are. Love this.
Glad you liked it, Mary. I may be an onion. 🙂
Such introspective depth here today. I know we all wish there were things we’d handled differently. The key is to learn from the past.
Yes, very true. I can look back on some of the good choices I have made along the way as well and can see that they contribute to who and where I am today as well. It is all part of who we are and isn’t that an amazing thing?
Great post, Beth Ann! Everything I’ve been through, mistakes and all, have made me who I am today and brought me here today.
We are who we are because of choices we have made through the years and the only problem is when we get stuck and don’t move on from some of the less than wonderful choices.