I make no bones about it.  Never have and never will.  I am a grade A, gold medal winning klutz.  From my earliest days to the present —calamity follows me around like a plague.  It is just part of my charming persona. My mom used to call me Calamity Ann Brown if that tells you anything.

The other day I heard someone talk on a podcast about crazy ways that they had injured themselves. My antennae went up and I listened and thought that I had them beat. I have injured myself in odd ways.

The one that came immediately to mind was when I cut my finger on a package of gum. You know the kind – the little blister packs that you pop the gum out of the foil type pocket?

Yep, that is the kind. I popped out a piece of gum and while doing it managed to slice my finger open to the point that I needed a bandaid. Ridiculous. Seriously. Who does that?

Then there was the time I dropped my razor in the shower and accidentally stepped on it. I did not have my contacts in and all I could see was red liquid circling down the drain. I got out of the shower and laid on the bathroom floor because I am a fainter. Not proud of it but it is a Brown trait. Chris heard me and called out to me to see what was going on. I told him I had cut myself. He comes running. Checks the location of said cut. My usually very compassionate husband begins laughing hysterically because he can not even find the cut on my toe. It is barely noticeable but I had convinced myself that I was losing gallons of blood.

I have broken my pinkie toe numerous times but the most embarrassing one and most inconveniencing time was when we were getting packed up to move from Mooresville to Iowa.

The movers had left a pad of paper on the floor that is used to wrap things up before placing them in boxes. My pinkie toe met the pad of paper just right and down I went. My BFF took me to Urgent Care and an X-ray showed that of course I had broken my toe and broken it pretty badly so I had to wear a protective boot for several weeks to be able to even walk. So once again – the impossible was done. A broken toe due to paper. Again I ask- who does that?

Now that I have hit the big 60 I have decided I need to be very careful. The other day I was climbing on the step stool outside to fill a squirrel / bird feeder and the back legs of the stool started sinking into the ground. I decided this was probably the time to exercise caution and so i did but not before an image of me tumbling over backwards flashed through my mind. I don’t think that I am any less klutzy at 60 but hopefully I have a little bit more common sense.

Have you ever had an injury that happened in an odd way? I would love to hear about it so tell me all about it in the comments and Comment for a Cause for NAMI. You can read more about that by clicking here.