I make no bones about it. Never have and never will. I am a grade A, gold medal winning klutz. From my earliest days to the present —calamity follows me around like a plague. It is just part of my charming persona. My mom used to call me Calamity Ann Brown if that tells you anything.
The other day I heard someone talk on a podcast about crazy ways that they had injured themselves. My antennae went up and I listened and thought that I had them beat. I have injured myself in odd ways.
The one that came immediately to mind was when I cut my finger on a package of gum. You know the kind – the little blister packs that you pop the gum out of the foil type pocket?
Yep, that is the kind. I popped out a piece of gum and while doing it managed to slice my finger open to the point that I needed a bandaid. Ridiculous. Seriously. Who does that?
Then there was the time I dropped my razor in the shower and accidentally stepped on it. I did not have my contacts in and all I could see was red liquid circling down the drain. I got out of the shower and laid on the bathroom floor because I am a fainter. Not proud of it but it is a Brown trait. Chris heard me and called out to me to see what was going on. I told him I had cut myself. He comes running. Checks the location of said cut. My usually very compassionate husband begins laughing hysterically because he can not even find the cut on my toe. It is barely noticeable but I had convinced myself that I was losing gallons of blood.
I have broken my pinkie toe numerous times but the most embarrassing one and most inconveniencing time was when we were getting packed up to move from Mooresville to Iowa.
The movers had left a pad of paper on the floor that is used to wrap things up before placing them in boxes. My pinkie toe met the pad of paper just right and down I went. My BFF took me to Urgent Care and an X-ray showed that of course I had broken my toe and broken it pretty badly so I had to wear a protective boot for several weeks to be able to even walk. So once again – the impossible was done. A broken toe due to paper. Again I ask- who does that?
Now that I have hit the big 60 I have decided I need to be very careful. The other day I was climbing on the step stool outside to fill a squirrel / bird feeder and the back legs of the stool started sinking into the ground. I decided this was probably the time to exercise caution and so i did but not before an image of me tumbling over backwards flashed through my mind. I don’t think that I am any less klutzy at 60 but hopefully I have a little bit more common sense.
Have you ever had an injury that happened in an odd way? I would love to hear about it so tell me all about it in the comments and Comment for a Cause for NAMI. You can read more about that by clicking here.
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It’s not really strange, but I’ve accidentally cut myself many times while handling and washing knives. That’s why I prefer knives that aren’t razor sharp. There are still times when I’m startled to feel the sharp edge on my hand somewhere, but thankfully our knives can’t cut skin unless you slice down hard. 😜
I’m like you Beth Ann. I’m always hurting myself. I think my best story is getting a mild concussion from a box of muffins. It was a 25 pound case of frozen unbaked muffin pucks that fell on my head. I work at a grocery store and was unloading a freezer pallet.
But the short story is concussion from muffins.
You win!!!! That’s definitely a unique injury!!!!!
I always enjoy reading about your unique injuries. I don’t injure myself often but when I do, it’s a doozy. LIke breaking my ankle by missing the bottom stair, on the second day of our two week European holiday!! I refused to admit it was broken and hobbled along in pain through Spain, Germany, Austria and Hungary. Got it fixed when we got home. Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done.
I’m pretty klutzy too and have cut myself numerous times on my contact lens container. I use dailies and those little packets have sharp edges.
One of the other things I do in the klutz department is break glasses. I don’t think we have one complete set anymore. It’s all mix and matched.
You poor baby! Thankfully you’ve survived! And you made me smile.
Goal accomplished! My whole reason to write is fulfilled!
Well, you know all my secrets. But when Pampered Chef won’t sell you knives anymore!
I continue to have falls from ladders, fences, walls and so on. It started when I was young walking along the top of a cement wall, and I landed one arm in a barbeque, and of course my skin stuck to a hot charcoal. My Dad was close by and cleaned me up and wrapped my arm in bandages. No hospital. My Dad grew up on a farm, and handles stuff at home!
Since then I have grown up but continue to fall off ladders, and have landed on my back but no serious hurts. My daughter caught me once balancing a chair on top of another chair and I was standing on top of them to change batteries in a smoke detector. I hope to live that one down some day.
Oh, Beth Ann, I can so relate. My most painful injury came when I was working in my classroom after school. A piece of paper slid off my desk and I tried to catch it. It required 6 weeks of physical therapy to repair my sciatica. Another time I went hiking on a fairly level paved trail. I slipped on gravel and broke my hand in 2 places. Another time I set instruments up for a concert and accidentally kicked a xylophone. My principal came over to see if I was ready to begin. Blood was pouring out of my foot. Got a bandage and the show went on. Let me just say Frank said to volunteer anywhere at church but he recommended I NOT serve communion. I have to agree.
Beth Ann, I’m delighted to hear I’m not the only one with this problem! My middle name is Anne (means “Grace”), so I guess my parents hoped I wouldn’t be clumsy. Boy, they must have been disappointed! I’ve fallen up curbs, on sidewalks, down stairs, over fences, on flat surfaces. I even broke two ribs in one tumble. It’s wise to be more mindful as we age so we don’t hurt ourselves, huh?!
Well, Beth Ann, how long do you have? lol I have and continue to be a klutz. I guess the biggest one is when I was a youngster. Fell 4 times and busted open my chin. After our local doctor sewed me up the 4th time he told Mama if I did it again just take me straight to the hospital. There was nothing left for him to sew up. Thank the Lord I did not fall that way again. I have had numerous burns, cuts, broken toes,falling down 4 stairs broke tail bone,snake bit & so on. Doing some better at 67 or almost 68 but still have my times. Have to praise the Lord for bring me through all this. Do I win? LOL
I’m a bit of a klutz myself. But I think the strangest way I’ve injured myself is falling UP stairs. And I’ve done that several times in my lifetime. I mean, really, who falls UP stairs???
Ouch! Sounds like me. In no particular order; I poisoned myself at three years old with ammonia, I chocked on marbles, I tried to drive and crashed at about four, I jumped off of a wooden swing set into a kiddie pool and had to have huge slivers removed from my elbow, I cut my foot wide open on a piece of wire, I was told to stay away from boiling hot water and guess what I didn’t – burns down my back, 2 car crashes, tripped over a rain gutter and sprained my foot, an infection in my brain from dental work…
You WIN!!!!!! Holy cow! Those are some serious things but it certainly hasn’t slowed you down!
Funny that I remember all of them too!
I forgot getting my shoelace stuck in an escalator at falling down it and skinning my knees badly 🤪
I have made it two years now without a broken bone. Stay safe, my friend.