As my regular readers and friends know my sweet Mother passed away on Christmas Day 2020. Because of the restrictions and health concerns with Covid-19 we decided to delay her Celebration of Life until a time when it was safe to gather together. I told my siblings that I wanted to be able to hug people. So that part of the important step in grieving will be delayed.
What I have learned with this particular death may be a bit different than when I have dealt with the deaths of other loved ones. What I know for a fact is that there is no timetable or specific steps in the grieving process. Everyone has to do it precisely their own way.
Today I thought I would share just a few ways that I am journeying through grief in hopes to help someone else out there.
As many have stated – grief is like ocean waves. Small at times and giant at other times as the emotions roll over and on top and threaten to take me under. I have learned that when the wave is particularly large I have to just go with it. Experience it in the moment and allow myself to just be. Fortunately since I am not working or doing much when those moments come I am able to fully experience that grief as I need to.
It helps to cry. It is so funny how that works sometimes for me. I will be absolutely fine and living life and then bam – I see something that reminds me of my mom or hear something or remember something and I am right there at the bottom of my grief. Allowing myself permission to cry and release those emotions has a truly cleansing effect on me.
Find things to hold onto when the days are rough. It can be anything or anyone that brings you comfort. Chris has taken on the role of “Hug Fairy” and my 6 foot 2 inch husband flits around with a hug just whenever I need it. I am so grateful for him and for his sensitivity . It reminds me that my mom was a part of his life for a very long time as well and his grief is as real as mine.
There is absolutely no shame in seeking help. If your grief seems like it is just not something you can handle on your own seek out some help. Whether it is seeking a counselor or finding a Grief Share group – there is strength in sharing with others.
Thank you to all who have been on this journey with me. I have had so much support and love over the past two months and am so grateful to each one of you for your concern. It means the world to me.