It seems like “bullying” is in the news again. Every time you turn around there is yet another story about a young person who has been bullied. Unfortunately many to the point where they can no longer stand it and take their own lives. I watched Anderson Cooper (LOVE that man!!! And his giggle—how cute!) and he had some stories on about bullying and it made me think back to about 35 years ago…..
I was not always the self assured and suave person that I am today. (If you really know me you know that that last statement is so untrue!!!) Seriously—-I have always been a little bit hard on myself and as a teenager that was no exception. I was skinny, had stringy long hair and horrible buck teeth and braces. Thank goodness acne passed me by! But regardless of my awkward outside appearance I still managed to do well and have friends! That is a God thing. Of course I am much harder on myself than anyone else but that is how I viewed myself back then.
Despite my own misgivings about my abilities and my identity I was always the one who stood up for the underdog. Yep, that kid that the others made fun of—I was right there defending them. That kid that did not fit in—was my friend. I think it was partially because of the way my parents raised me but I also think I kind of identified with them at some level. I had friends and lots of them —but I was in several different friendship groups which made it difficult at times to figure out where I really fit in.
But I digress— back to the bullying. When I was around 16 I really, really, really liked this guy. I mean really, really, really liked him. He was the object of many young girls’ affection because he was
- cute and
-
very nice and
-
had his own car.
Win win win! I managed to get him to go to a formal with me and I was just over the moon. We had a nice night and even though we never really “dated” it was quite an accomplishment for little ole me! And evidently to some others. I started getting phone calls where they would hang up. I had no clue why. And then it become pretty clear to me that someone out there did not like me. How could that be?
One day I was at school and someone said I needed to go check out the bathroom. Now my mom will tell you that that was one place I just avoided during the school day. I would go all day without a visit there–not sure why but I just liked to do my business at home I guess. But on this day I went in and much to my dismay there written in RED marker on the wall (I can still see it today!) was Beth Brown is a B****! I will shield your tender eyes. I was shocked. I am pretty sure I cried. Why me? What did I ever do to deserve being written about on the walls? I am pretty sure there was even an assembly to address this latest infraction and vandalism. I have vague memories of that because I think I blocked it from my mind but hey—-it was traumatic. I mean this was 35 years ago and things were a lot calmer in New Concord, Ohio than they probably are today.
Suffice it to say I had some bad days after that. Thinking I had someone who hated me out there in high schoolville was hard. Then one day I found a note slipped into my locker. Typed in red ink (I guess so it could not be traced…too bad we didn’t have a CSI unit at John Glenn High School) and stuck in my locker. It was an apology. From an unknown person. Apologizing for being mean to me and upsetting me. Apologizing for writing about me on the bathroom wall. Do I know who wrote it? I have my suspicions though I never asked the person point blank. I think she felt pretty horrible about how far it had gone and yes—it was all over that cute, nice boy with a car. Did I get hit or punched or beaten up? Nope but I sure felt like it. I think bullying has always been around and will most likely stick around but if just one person stands up for someone else maybe it will turn the tide.
And yes….I still have that note tucked away in a memory box at home. It is part of my history. But I am on the other side of that. If you want a great place to look for info and support about bullying check out StopBullying.gov here.
Anyone else out there have a story to share? I am a good listener!
