Waves of grief. It’s a very real thing. I am not sure what your experience is but mine is that grief hits me at some of the most unexpected times and places. This week those waves have been of tidal wave proportions and even though it has been almost five years since the death of my sweet mother, it seems like some days I just still can’t believe that I can’t just talk to her anymore.
I suspect it has something to do with the fact that we have two Celebration of Life services to attend this week. One for a dear co worker of mine and the other the husband of my best friend here in Brevard. I suspect that is the underlying reason for grief crashing into me this week but who knows. Grief is so fluid.
.
.
To grieve the loss of someone is something that is forever with you. Yes, you can move on and get on with life but there is just something about those memories that pop up that remind you of your loved one that stick with you. This week it was when our darling Theodore broke his arm in gymnastics. I wanted to call my mom and tell her how brave he was and how he picked a red cast for his Fama since it is my favorite color. I wanted her to be able to tell him all about when she broke her wrist and how awful that was for her. I wanted to share all of that and more with her and then I stopped and realized that I just wasn’t able to do that anymore. The grief was real.
No one really tells you how hard it is. But that is because grief is so personal and no one has the same experience. While my mom had dementia and did not know me for the last couple years of her life, she was still there. There were glimpses of her sense of humor and her laughter and her smile that made it all so much easier at times. I choose to remember those times, I guess, over the more difficult times of being kept apart for so long during the Covid 19 time. That was truly awful.
.
.
So maybe we hold onto those good memories a little longer, mark the good days with our loved ones on a calendar and cherish each other a little bit more every single day to help with those waves of grief. I certainly don’t have answers but I know that these practices help me a bit when I am missing my mom more than I thought I could. Hope your day is filled with blessings and memories of those you loved that are no longer physically with you. Maybe hug those around you a little bit tighter today.
