Friendships sometimes come and go.
This past week I attended the Celebration of Life of a dear friend from my “work church”. One of the men that spoke reminded all in attendance to basically cherish and nurture friendships.
He said his only regret was that he had not been able to spend as much time with his friend Ike as he had wanted. He looked out at the large gathering of friends and family and admonished us to make time for those relationships and those friendships which matter.
I had to agree with his words. I took them to heart.
One of my goals this year was to “be” in the moment whatever that moment may be. I have tried to be aware of others and of their needs. I have tried to not let other things distract me when I am in the presence of a friend. I have not always succeeded but I am trying.
I am learning how to be a better friend. I have always been a good listener and being trained in social work helped hone those skills even more. I know that listening is a very important skill and one that is vital in a friendship.
I have been blessed with many friendships over the years. Moving around a bit has enabled me to have a lot of really great friends in a lot of places. It is fun to see how many friends I can reconnect with on social media over the years.
So when someone tells me at a service to make time for friendships I am encouraged and know that my drive to be a good friend is a good thing to pursue. It is not time wasted. It is time invested in both my own personal well being and in the well being of another. As a woman I think friendships are the glue that hold us all together.
Everyone looks at friendships differently. Do you have a lot of friends or are you satisfied with just a few very close friends? Do you make an effort to stay in touch? Are you the one who makes the calls or the one who waits for the others to call you? I would love to hear your thoughts on friendship in the comment section.
When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don’t stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven’t hoed,
And shout from where I am, What is it?
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.
22 CommentsLeave a comment
Blessed to call you my friend!
Back at you, Sara!
Perfect quote from Robert Frost.
He is my favorite poet!
Friends are very important to me and I do keep in touch. One of the hardest things about moving to Spain for me was not being with my friends. Thankfully social media helped as I have been able to keep in touch. And of course, I have made new friends. I have friends scattered all over the world. You can never have too many! I consider you a friend, Beth Anne and am so glad we met through the blogging world (and a certain armadillo)
I know that your move must have been a tough decision because of the friend factor but you are like me now an have friends all over. I am so glad we met through Andy as well! That was a long time ago!
You have always been such a good, dear, caring friend. And you have taught me so much about what a friend looks like and does. Love you friend!
Love you back, Virginia. You are the perfect example of a friendship that can stand the test of time!
I have a friend who told me that, just like marriage, friendship takes work. I also took that to heart and I make a point of calling far-away-friends to keep in touch. There were times when I waited for the calls but I think making the calls is so much better. When I was working, it was hard getting together with the few friends I had in NY, but now that I am retired, having so many more friends and meeting so many new people is one of my favorite things about retirement.
Friendship does take work and it is a two way street. One person can try to hold up the majority of the contact but in the end it really does take two to make the friendship continue and work. It is hard work, It really is. I am so glad you are able to explore all kinds of friendships now in your retirement. It is so important to surround yourself with people that are fun and who challenge you as well and you are finding all kinds of great new friends to add to your existing friendships. Glad to be one of them.
You are a wonderful friend in so many ways. Your ability to listen and your compassion shine. Those are keys for deep and meaningful friendships. I also love your optimism and your smile. You always seem happy. You are true and caring and loving. And I am blessed to have you as my friend.
Thank you, Audrey. Those are gifts that God gave me that I hope I can use well. I am blessed to have so many really wonderful friendships that survive the miles like ours.
I am learning to reach out to others. People like you make that easy. I want many friends but am happy to have a few “unconditional loving” friends. My illnesses (especially social anxiety disorder) make it hard for many to stay in a friendship because sometimes I inadvertantly respond in a socially unexpected manner and others do not always understand me. I am working on that now.
Marie–I think you have figured out a good thing–a few unconditional friends are better than a boatload of people who don’t “get” you. I can imagine that with your disorder it might be a little more difficult to maintain friendships but those that you have are very important, right? Thank you so much for taking time to leave a comment. I truly appreciate it.
I have learned a lot about friendship from you! You are truly a blessing to so many of us.
That is so sweet! You have been such a good friend and I am so blessed!
I too have found many friends across the country. And with social media I have more friends, most of which I’ve never met. Still, they are friends and if and when I get to their parts of the country we usually get to meet at least for lunch. I agree it takes work to maintain friendships especially during busy times, but it’s so worth it.
You get it, Dawn It does take work but it is so worth it. There are so many really amazing people in the world and I have met so many really great people, like you, through social media and it is so fun to meet them in real life and discover how much you like them in real life as well!
So sorry for your loss. Friends and family are everything and we must nuture those relationships. I need to make those calls more often.
Thank you so much, Julie. He was a wonderful man. And yes—it reminded me to be aware of making those calls and lunch dates.
Friends are such an important part of life. We were at a funeral yesterday, and the church was full to capacity. When I read this post, I thought how important it is that we let our friends know what they mean to us while they’re here and not just attend a service for them after they’ve passed.
YES!!! Exactly. I think that is what hit me at the service I attended as well. I try to do that but there is always room for improvement. I am so sorry for your loss as well. Seems as if funerals are a big part of our lives these days.