Laughter truly can be the best medicine.
My mom has had quite a year and she will tell you if you visit her that it has not been easy. A failing hip led to a move from an independent living house to an independent apartment in the “big house” at Copeland Oaks in Ohio. Months of pain and anxiety while waiting for the much needed hip surgery left her feeling a bit isolated.
Successful surgery, an extended stay in a rehabilitation facility and a move to an assisted living apartment immediately following discharge from rehab and my poor mom has experienced more change than she anticipated. At 87 years old these changes are not always the easiest to handle. An additional challenge of memory loss and my mom does not have always have the sunny disposition that she was known for.
Last week when I visited her for a few days I was trying to come up with some things we could do. Things other than cleaning out her closet and sorting and discarding things. Fun things. We ended up looking at photo albums and even though a lot of the pictures did not ring a bell with who was in them I think she enjoyed it. We also looked at the scrapbook that I made her for her 80th birthday celebration and it reminded me of how much work I put into it.
Of course there was laughter and giggling but honestly the best thing I did was invite one of her friends to dinner. She was so looking forward to seeing her friend Pat and talked about it all week when I was there. We didn’t have anything special, just lasagna, but it was the idea of having dinner in her own apartment with a friend that made the difference.
The laughter and smiles were the best thing I saw and heard all week.
19 Comments
Leave a commentWhat a beautiful thing to do with you mom! And the laughter was a wonderful bonus!
Yes! It was such a nice night and she was so happy to spend time with her friend. IT seems that people forget that she is there sometimes so now my campaign is on to get her some more visitors!
My mother found it almost intolerable to hit the 90 mark, knowing that she was rapidly becoming the only one left of all her bridge, golf, and old neighborhood groups. Such thoughts worsened in the ensuing years (passing at 94). She chose to remain in her condo which, I thought, gave her way too much time by herself but some type of assisted/group living was not to be for her!!! I often wonder if her later days/years would have been more enjoyable if she would have given the other a chance. What will my choices be when the time comes????? Hmmmmmmm
I know my mom is where she needs to be now—and she knows it as well. Help with meds and laundry and meals are taking a lot off of her plate and the rest of us but I know that the decline in independence is so very difficult to bear at times. I keep trying to figure out what more I can do but for now it is to just make those visits a priority.
Acceptance of such life shifts is the most crucial to peace at these times.
She is having a bit of a rough go but knows that she is where she needs to be. All we can do is continue to show her our love and support.
That has been my goal too, to get people to stop in and see mom. I am so thankful that many of my friends do take the time to stop in and say Hi. Then they send me a note to let me know how she is doing. It is so hard being so far away. Can´t wait to see her next month. Love to see the smile on your mom´s face. Laughter is good medicine and so are friends and family. We have even hired someone to come once a week and read to mom just so she doesn´t get lonely. xo
It is so hard when we are far away–you are so much farther than me but I know that you do everything in your power to get that quality time. So glad to see that you are going to see her next month. I love the idea of someone to read to her…..filing that one away.
She looks great! So glad she was able to have her friend visit. Maybe they can make it a regular thing?
Pat comes to visit all the time but I just thought a dinner other than in the dining room would be nicer. Going out to dinner at a restaurant wears her out as well so this was a nice alternative and I will definitely be doing it again when I visit.
Lasagna is special. Yum. Such a sweet post, glad you got to see some smiles & experience the giggles!
I found some noodles that were half the normal size so it was great to take a small pan to her instead of a huge pan. It worked out so well I may have to do it again!
Oh, this makes my heart happy to hear how happy you made your mom by hosting that dinner with Patty.
And I understand fully what you are experiencing with your mom. It is not easy.
It was a fun night and I am blessed that I am able to be with her as much as I am.
Aw, how sweet. I know it must be so difficult to see the changes in your mom. I’m sorry she’s having memory issues in addition to the physical ones. No doubt, your visit was very special to her.
The memory thing is tough but she still knows us and is pretty good with most stuff—dates and time and names escape her and it is frustrating but part of the aging process. Thanks for stopping by. I loved being with her.
Lasagna and laughter sounds like the perfect combo.
I love this, Beth Ann. What a sweet thing for you to do, and to experience. <3 I hope mom's doing well.
Talked to her today and she sounded cheerier–getting some folks to visit has helped and trying to get her out and about more. It takes time to adjust after a move and hopefully she is finding her way. Thanks for stopping by!