Change is hard sometimes.
Letting go is part of my life now and I have to admit that I am struggling a bit.
Christmas has always meant family time and for years we have enjoyed the company of our sons and their significant others over the holidays.
But times are changing and I am learning that I must change with them as well.
I have talked to quite a few empty nesters who struggle with the same thing so I know that I am in good company.
Family time is just so important to me. I love my boys and the women they have chosen to share their lives with. I could not have picked more perfect matches for either one of them and it truly makes my heart happy.
But as the mother of a son it also means that I have to share their hearts now. I think it might be a little bit different than it is with a daughter. A daughter naturally gravitates towards home.
Towards her mother.
The bond is unique.
I know that I feel that way about my mom. I still need her to be my mom.
When a son marries or finds a partner the dynamics can sometimes shift a bit and of course the wife becomes his focus. That is as it should be. You get no argument from me about that. After all that is what I did when I married Chris. I left my parents and started new traditions and a new family. It’s all part of the cycle of life.
I have had to have a long hard talk with myself recently and realize that I am now a mother in law. That means I have to let go.
It means that it is okay that my sons are starting their own traditions.
It means that I need to quit being overly sensitive.
I am realizing that holidays do not mean that each member of our family has to be there in order to enjoy the holiday.
Life is full of changes. If anyone should know that it is me.
Even if miles separate us at the holidays it does not mean that my children love me any less.
The bonus — I now have “daughters” who love my boys as much as I do and who will be by their side when I can’t be.
It’s all part of growing up, letting go and realizing that my job as parent is changing. And that is a good thing.
A very good thing.
Our children are ALWAYS in our hearts. Nothing will ever change that.
As we celebrate Christmas this year our family may be scattered a bit but our hearts will all be together.