Recently I had someone say to me that they did not understand how I could move as much as I have moved in my life and it made me think about how my “normal” is not anyone else’s normal. I never thought much about it but when people say that I have moved a lot it makes me think that I need to stop and count up the number of moves.
As a child and until I was 22 years old I had moved 6 times. That does not count individual college dorms and apartments but you get the idea. Being a “PK” (preacher’s kid) that was actually a pretty moderate number of moves.
Since Chris and I have been married we have moved locations 12 times with number 13 hopefully coming up this year. This does not include all of the temporary housing, hotel living and my non-existent move to Texas last year. Honestly I don’t think that that is a lot. Let’s see – 13 times in almost 33 years of marriage does not really seem like that much to me when we have had long stays of 8 and 9 years in a couple of places.
But I understand when someone questions how I can put down roots and feel like anyplace is home when I know that it is not going to be my forever home. This is how I view it.
Each place that we have moved has afforded us new opportunities. New opportunities are good things. It allows us to grow and explore and not become complacent about life.
I have a network of friends all over the United States and Australia. While I have not counted up the number of those friends I know that I have far more friendships and relationships with people from various walks of life than a lot of my friends who have always stayed put have just because of that moving experience. That to me is priceless.
I believe it has made our children more adaptable. Both of them were real troopers when there was a move involved. We made a conscious decision to stay put when they were in high school and that was the absolute best thing we could have done but they always adapted well. I truly believe that that ability to adapt and adjust has helped them as adults.
When I think about the friends that I have made everywhere I have realized that I am able to have friendships based on the here and now. Not that any of my friends have any real deep, dark secrets but it is always nice to just make friendships based on the here and now without any knowledge of what might have come before. There is plenty of time to learn those “secrets” of the past and it has allowed me to make friendships based on who that person is in the moment. That is a pretty amazing thing.
So when someone is incredulous at my moving history I just have to remember that my normal is not their normal and that is just fine. I can never fully put myself in anyone else’s shoes and I am pretty darn comfortable in mine. Which are sandals at the moment.
Thanks for stopping by today. I would love to hear your thoughts on moving or staying in one place. There are benefits to both without a doubt.
37 Comments
Leave a commentI think it is amazing that you moved around so much and had the opportunity to see so many places / meet so many people. Not counting before I was two years old, I only lived two places in my life…
See –my “normal” is not YOUR normal. But a lot of other folks have moved even more often than I have. Isn’t it funny how we get used to what we get used to? Thanks for stopping by, Hilary!
I believe your attitude is spot-on for you and your husband! Personally, I would not like picking up and leaving my “home” area permanently … but I would LOVE to have “vacation” homes in several locations around the US!! The best of both worlds?
I like your best of both worlds idea and that is exactly what we are aiming for with getting a beach house and maybe a house someplace else. You never know! Thanks for stopping by!
I’d like to stay put in one place if we start a family, but have no regrets about our moves. Like you said, you meet some really amazing people and have friendships all over the place. Benefits to both for sure:)
Exactly. We are sisters in the moving thing and it has always been another great move in the right direction. Attitude is 95% of it and I truly believe if you have a positive attitude you can make anything work.
In our first 6 years of marriage we moved that number of times and then we arrived here. Our ‘here’ has been the last 41 years. When each of DH’s jobs would change we looked at what options were available in order to remain here in “God’s Country”. And that is my “norm”!!!!!!
I love that you found your perfect place and it totally suits you. You have done what it takes to stay there where you love and it makes perfect sense. Plus you always have your little “summer home” to take you to a slightly different place, right?
We’ve moved around a fair bit – 6 homes in 36 years of marriage. I think it’s good to move to different places if you get the chance. it definitely opens your mind and enriches your life. And like you say, there’s the chance to meet new people and form new friendships. I certainly have no regrets about having roots in various places.
I love the way you live your life. And yes your normal is not my normal. Something I have to keep telling myself as I watch my daughter raise her son. My way is not necessarily the best way for her. Thank you for confirming what I have been telling my husband for the last 4 years. Have a great week
I totally agree. Normal is not the same for everyone and you just have to figure out what is your normal and go with it and love it. I think that is all part of the process. While I dearly miss a lot of my good friends that I have formed strong friendships with I never forget them and we still stay in touch. I am actually having a BFF getaway with my best friend from North Carolina coming up in April —we have been friends since 1998 and it does not matter the distance between us. Thanks so much for stopping by!!! I love that you read my blog! 🙂
I love this, Anne! You echo what I feel in my heart and what has worked for me. While I have no doubt the people that have lived in one place all their lives have deep roots and great lives I would not trade my experiences for anything. It seems that it has always been better and more enriching to move and experience different areas. Heaven knows I need my mind opened and stretched a bit at times!
My life is so totally different than yours. Randy and I have lived only two places in our nearly 33 years of marriage. As a child, I lived on the same farm site for 17, nearly 18 years, just moved from an “old” house to a new one.
Constant moving and changing would be difficult for me given my upbringing. Didn’t move and took only two vacations during my youth–one north to Duluth and one west to the Black Hills. Living on a dairy farm meant basically never getting away.
My kids have thankfully been able to travel a lot and are way more adventuresome. I, on purpose, encouraged them to be adventuresome.
Are you wearing sandals in Iowa or elsewhere today?
Yes and your normal is perfect for you. Absolutely perfect. You still “explore” your area and beyond and your blog has created friendships that stretch outside your immediate geographic area. That is just as important to personal growth–you aren’t stagnating even though your geographic location has been a constant. See—normal is normal however it is defined for the individual. That is the beauty of it.
I have bare feet inside today in Iowa and the sun is shining and hopefully it will hit 50 today. Hallelujah. When I wrote this I was in Alabama –where I will be again on Friday so I am getting ready. Mr. Diamond said it was going to be 82 there this week. Time to dig out the shorts…..
My head would explode! But, as long as you’re happy!!
Absolutely happy! Although it is going to be difficult to leave my North Iowa friends when the time comes. The past year has been amazing and I feel like I finally am a part of Iowa. It took me a long time to feel that way but it is mostly due to my blogging and social media friends!!! 🙂
Growing up I lived in a lot of places but in the same city. through the years I lived in 18different places in 8 different towns. Moving was always an economic choice when I was growing up. When I started out on my own the choces became more career oriented until I married. my wife and I have only lived in Lake Mills and Mason City for th last 40 years. Had several career chances to move and did temporarily but the importance of family soon made me realize that putting roots down was very important for our family. No regrets. I can understand how moving is your normal. You are such a friendly outgoing person that easily attracts friends. I for one feel blessed that our paths crossed in Mason City Iowa. God Bless.
And I have loved getting to know you! I think of all of the people I have met involved with various organizations and charities in the area you have to be the one that is the most passionate about making a difference. I love that our North Iowa Bloggers were able to be a small part of Hawkeye Harvest. I love your story of putting down roots. See–everyone has a normal and it is perfect for them. Thanks for sharing!
My mom was a PK too and went to 13 schools before graduating from high school! I’ve moved a lot but not in recent years…
We’ve moved 4 times in 5 years. Two of them being huge moves. We will have one more move to get out of this crappy city we live in hopefully sooner than later. After that I hope not to move for a long time. As a kid we never moved.
Growing up we moved a lot. 4 times in 10 years…but we always stayed in the same area. Since I’ve been an adult, I’ve moved 7 times in almost 9 years…again, always in the same area (county) and always nearby my family, so while I can related to actually not being able to put down roots in a home, I don’t know how I would do with moving from region to region. I envy the experiences you’ve gotten with your moves, but also know that it probably wouldn’t be a good fit for me, although…the older I’ve gotten, I’ve realized that all that matters having my 3 boys with me! So, you can make anywhere work then! Love you! Hugs!
I think moving broadens us, Beth Ann. As a reporter, I’ve moved quite a bit, too. Sometimes you land in a situation where everybody ahead of you is young and not going anywhere, when you want more responsibility and a different beat — then, you have to move. I didn’t particularly enjoy the actual process of moving, though it does have a way of forcing one to weed out the extraneous stuff one really doesn’t need! And having friends everywhere is SUCH a good feeling!!
Moving is good from time to time. We only moved twice when I was growing up. But Paul and I have moved 6 times in 38 years. This last move to Spain being a biggy. The upside is making new friends while still keeping the old ones! I do think it is good for kids to move a few times to learn how to adapt to change. Home is where the heart is and for you and me, it is where our hubby is.
I think in a way it would be really cool to move different places for a time and get to know new things and new people. It would be so interesting. I’ve lived here in Boca and in our house for almost 13 years now and think that’s so long. I get the itch from time to time to change places…
As Beth said, we did move several times but I think for the most part it was good for our children. They met new people and got used to it and were able to meet new people and make new friends.
Moving was always a good thing for us, I think, and it made us stronger in a lot of ways even though at times it is difficult to leave friends behind.
Normal is a relative term. I only moved once before I turned 18. After that my “normal” looks like yours. I love moving and meeting new people 🙂
As in everything there are pros and cons. I’ve moved a bit too — only once as a child and once as a young adult but 12 times (if I counted right) in 37 years of marriage. For some folks, moving can be devastating and isolating, but for others we broaden our horizons and become better people because of it. For us, it was good each time, but we’ve ‘settled down’ now and have lived in the same area for the last 16 years. That’s been good for us at this time in our lives.
I have moved 3 times since 1996 hoping each was the last. Now in Greensboro. Hope this is the last. I gave up half my belongings each time. All things I could not do without but suppose I have. Reminds of 1984 divorce when all I took was what I could fit into a 1972 two door Oldsmobile Cutlass and my dog.
I can relate to the moving. I moved as a child many times as my dad was a space engineer following government contract after contract. His willingness to make the move elevated him to the realm of rocket scientist and I’m so proud that his accomplishments in that field. I learned from my mother and dad in a big way early on, sometimes pursuing opportunity means moving which has adjusted my perspective.
I do find it peculiar though that sometimes “old friends” are surprised to hear from me because I moved away. Of course, I remember a lot of folks dearly! As my mother used to say, “We have moved a lot but we are not gypsies.” Just had to weigh in on this one, Beth Ann. Thank you for writing it.
I see the value and excitement of both.
I think it’s a wonderful sentimental thing to buy a home as a young married couple, raise your kids in that house, build your community, and retire there eventually. Roots. And for us right now, with our young kids who are settled into their school and community, that is very appealing. It also helps my hubby with seniority in his job that we don’t move from this particular city.
But, I also see the sense of adventure of a move too. How it can force you to adapt as you say – to see new things. perspectives. maybe even an entirely new culture.
Home is where you heart is, right? 🙂
You get it! There are benefits to both and it is fun to hear / read everyone’s take on this subject. Thanks for weighing in!
Sometimes I wish I could say I grew up in one house in one town, but our family moved around a lot due to my Dad’s work. At one time my Dad and I counted up that we’d lived in 27 houses over the years. As a child I always hated to moved but looking back I wouldn’t take anything for those experiences. Now who could say they had their senior ring from one school, all the while they graduated at another school! Not many…but I can!! Looking back I believe it gave me a different perspective on handling changes in life. Since hubby and I have been together, in 34 years we’ve moved 4 times; just changing homes and staying in same area. So, I definitely say my normal is somewhat different than yours and many others, but hey, that’s life .
Normal does look different to different people and that is the beauty of it all, in my opinion! Sometimes when you are in the midst of it you don’t see what positives can come from moving but looking back I can see it all led to bigger and better things! I have a feeling your experiences made you a stronger person in many ways. Thanks for weighing in!
I’m on the other end of moves, been in the same spot for over 30 years. I admire your adaptability and making the most of every day of your life, no matter where your feet happen to be.
Thanks Patti. But then what is the alternative? Be grumpy and sad about things? Not an option! Have a great day!
Unlike you I stayed put most of my young life (when I lived with my parents for my first 18 years we moved only once). When I started living on my own, I moved 3 times in 3 years & then bought my first house – I lived there for 7 years. I got married & moved again to a bigger house & then moved again 4 years later when we separated. I moved twice before I bought another home where I lived for about 11 years. Then I met Kelvin. Within a few months we moved in together, then 6 months after meeting we moved 852 kms to another province in the middle of the bush where we stayed for 10 years. Then we moved across 3 provinces (2500 kms) to Edmonton, AB where we have been for the last 8 years. Kelvin turns 65 in 3 weeks & his job has been discontinued due to economic downturn, so we’ve decided to pack up 1 more time & move back to Wpg. to be with our kids! This is new news & you’re one of the first to know!