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March 25, 2019

The Difference One Life Can Make

44 Comments/ 168/ 1

I have often said that one person can make a huge difference in the world and I am not alone in that thinking.  It is not an original thought or phrase but this past week I came to see first hand just how true that statement is. 

Many of you who follow me on social media already know that our sweet Carlton Scott Chiles, Chris’s brother, passed away from his earthly life and entered the arms of Jesus on March 21st, 2019 at 10:05 pm.  His sister Colleen, brother in law Bryan, Chris and I were by his side as he took his final breath.  His long struggle was complete and his body which had failed him in the past couple of years was no longer a stumbling block.  As we wept over his body we realized that our lives would never be the same.  It was not lost on us that he passed on World Down Syndrome Day.

During his final days there was a parade of people coming to see him to say goodbye.  His last days were spent at Lima Rehab and Nursing Center and they were simply wonderful with him. Health care workers who made a special trip in on their days off wept by his bedside and recounted numerous stories to us of how he had touched their lives. This from a 49 year old who really was not at his best the past couple of years –who struggled with Alzheimer’s along with other issues and was just not the Carlton of the old days.  But still – he touched lives and made an impact on others.

I know that every one, every life, has value.  I know that.  But this past week I realized even more that each life touches so many lives over the span of a lifetime. Judging from all of the wonderful comments both on Facebook and in the guest book online from his obituary we really had no idea of how much he meant to so many.   You can read his obituary and view and sign the guest book here.

I have written about Carlton so often on It’s Just Life over the years and my readers have come to know him through my eyes which has been such a wonderful thing.  I had a “gorgeous idea” (that’s a Carlism) and had my readers send him cards after a move to an assisted living home.  It was simply amazing how many cards he got as a result.  I was so grateful.  

So this week I am devoting to Carlton memories and will simply be reposting a few posts from the past years when Carlton was the focus.  It seems right.  As I have been looking through pictures from the past few years I have been moved by how often we were able to see glimpses of the old Carlton in his smiles and mannerisms.  We have so many Carlton stories and phrases – they could fill a book.  What a blessing to have been loved as much as he was loved by so many.  

Carlton’s Celebration of Life will be March 31st and I tell you – I know he is celebrating in heaven.  And maybe even with Buddy. 

Carlton Scott Chiles 4/20/1969 – 3/21/2019
Buddy 5/7/2007 – 1/25/2019

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Carlton Scott Chiles Down Syndrome life well lived
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44 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. Virginia
    March 25, 2019 at 06:06 am

    So beautifully said! Thank you for sharing Carlton with us!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:38 pm

      Thank you for your prayers and love during our difficult time. We are so blessed to have had him in our life.

      Reply
  2. Kathy Pattison
    March 25, 2019 at 07:22 am

    Beautifully said! He must of been so very special.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:37 pm

      Thank you so much, Kathy. He was very special to so many.

      Reply
  3. My Odd Family
    March 25, 2019 at 07:26 am

    Carlton made a difference. And so have you by sharing his life with us through stories. I will wear two different colors of socks to celebrate him on March 31st. ♥~

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:37 pm

      Carlton DID make a difference. You are correct. Thank you for celebrating his life along with us on March 31st. That definitely put a smile on my face!

      Reply
  4. jena c. henry
    March 25, 2019 at 07:49 am

    So true and beautiful! Thanks for your positive words during your time of sorrow. Love the photo of your dear Carlton and Buddy and it will be nice to see more posts about Carlton this week.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:36 pm

      Thank you so much – I am a different person because of Carlton. He touched SO many lives—I can not believe it. Thank you for your sweet words and for your support during this sad and difficult time.

      Reply
  5. Marci B
    March 25, 2019 at 07:52 am

    Maybe you SHOULD write a book! How cool would that be?

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:33 pm

      Maybe there is a book in the future. Chris and I always talked about what sacrifices families make when there is a special needs child and how there are realities that people don’t really acknowledge. It would be interesting to have a book written from the viewpoints of siblings and in laws so who knows….

      Reply
  6. JoEllen Arends
    March 25, 2019 at 08:54 am

    Many prayers and his as you celebrate his life and his lessons.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:31 pm

      Thank you so much, JoEllen. I appreciate your prayers and your kind words and thoughts.

      Reply
  7. Darlene
    March 25, 2019 at 09:05 am

    This was such a lovely post. I agree with Marci B, you should write a book about Carlton. I love the picture of Carlton and Buddy, so precious. Sending hugs your way. xo

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:31 pm

      Thank you so much, Darlene. The picture of Carlton and Buddy was a really great find on my computer and I cried when I found it. Of course. 🙂 Thank you for your hugs from Spain!

      Reply
  8. Jill Jeffrey
    March 25, 2019 at 09:19 am

    Beth Ann, Perhaps it’s time to write the book. My heart breaks to read how many potential blessings like Carlton are being aborted. Your insights and love could help inspire better informed decisions. I love how you love this special guy.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:30 pm

      Jill, you are so sweet and maybe you are right. Maybe it is time to write that book. Your words ring true that there are so many that just don’t have a clue what their life is missing when they make a choice to abort a child because of a “disability”. I could never imagine our lives without Carlton and am so glad Chris’s parents were strong enough to do what needed to be done to raise him so well.

      Reply
  9. Candi Randolph
    March 25, 2019 at 10:03 am

    I know your heart is broken right now, but the assurance that your son is now with the Lord and that you will see him again someday helps to get through this very difficult time. Prayers for you and your family.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:28 pm

      Thank you so much, Candi, for your sweet words and kind thoughts and prayers during our loss of our sweet Carlton. He was an amazing brother in law and will always be in our hearts.

      Reply
  10. Katy
    March 25, 2019 at 10:04 am

    So grateful for “getting to know” Carlton through you! And know that you and your family continue to be in my prayers!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:27 pm

      Thank you so much, Katy. We so love sharing Carlton with our friends and covet the prayers of all of our friends during this difficult time.

      Reply
  11. Andrea Eisen
    March 25, 2019 at 10:28 am

    Oh, Beth Ann. Sending you so much love. Thank you so much for sharing Carlton with us as you have. Such a blessing to know him through your eyes and heart.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:27 pm

      Thank you so much, Andrea. He will be so missed but he will always be in our hearts.

      Reply
  12. Dianna
    March 25, 2019 at 10:43 am

    Obviously, a remarkable young man. That picture of him with Buddy just “gets me”. Our friends sure come to our rescue when we need them for thoughts, prayers, etc. Thinking of all of you and continuing to keep you in prayer. I’m sure his memorial service will be an emotional time for all of you.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:26 pm

      Thank you so much, Dianna, for your kind words and thoughts. We are feeling the strength of the prayers and know that we will mourn the loss of the physical Carlton but he will always be with us in our hearts. Thanks again.

      Reply
  13. Minnesota Prairie Roots
    March 25, 2019 at 10:51 am

    Dearest Beth Ann and Chris and family,

    My hearts hurt for you in your time of grief. What joy you have in memories and in the love you shared with your sweet Carlton. You are right that every single person holds value. Carlton did and still does. May the peace of God calm your hearts.

    With love,hugs and prayers,
    Audrey

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:25 pm

      Thank you, Audrey. We love all of the sweet words and support from everyone and the prayers that are getting us through this difficult time. We feel them and the love that everyone is sharing with us and are so grateful for each of you.

      Reply
  14. Mama's Empty Nest
    March 25, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    Lovely thoughts of that one special life. His passing will cause such a void and I pray that your family will be comforted with all of those wonderful memories of Carlton. The photo of him with Buddy is priceless.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:23 pm

      Thanks so much, Cindy. We are all so blessed by the kind words and thoughts and prayers for our family. They do make a difference.

      Reply
  15. dawnkinster
    March 25, 2019 at 04:33 pm

    So sad. But not, you know? He’s a special guy now is a special place. And maybe, just maybe, Buddy left when he did so that he could greet Carlton when the time came. You never know, but I’m sure Carlton is glad to have Buddy near now.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 25, 2019 at 07:23 pm

      I know exactly — sad but not. Great way to describe it. I like what you wrote about Buddy going ahead —- that might be exactly what happened. 🙂

      Reply
  16. Shirley Matthews Dunn
    March 25, 2019 at 09:28 pm

    We do not always know in the beginning when God puts people in our lives how very special they are. Carlton was certainly that for you you and many. Please know I send my deepest sympathy to you, Chris, and .family. May God give you all the peace, comfort, and strength only HE can give.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 27, 2019 at 04:46 pm

      You are very correct in your words and we are so blessed with the outpouring of love for us because of Carlton. Thank you.

      Reply
  17. Kim Thomas
    March 25, 2019 at 09:37 pm

    So lucky to meet Carlton and get to know him when he was at Harco. He brought such joy to my day! He is in the best hands now but please know that my prayers are for your family.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 27, 2019 at 04:46 pm

      Thank you so much, Kim, for taking the time to stop by and read and comment. I know he loved being at Harco and it was such a great safe place for him to be. The artwork he did there was so fun! Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

      Reply
  18. Elaine Ambrose
    March 26, 2019 at 08:34 am

    Thank you for your loving tribute to a good man. The best honors in life are to love and be loved.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 27, 2019 at 04:43 pm

      Elaine, thank you so much for your kind words about our Carlton. Yes, the best honors in life are truly to love and be loved and he succeeded at both.

      Reply
  19. susi_snaps
    March 26, 2019 at 08:54 am

    My heart goes out to you and your family during this difficult time. Carlton may be home from your sight, but he’ll always live on in your hearts and the beautiful memories you share! xo

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 27, 2019 at 04:42 pm

      Thank you so much, Susi. We are so blessed with all of the love that is coming our way from others. Thank you.

      Reply
  20. Missy's Crafty Mess
    March 26, 2019 at 11:17 am

    I’m so sorry for your families loss! I’m sure that he and Buddy are keeping each other company until you all meet again

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 27, 2019 at 04:33 pm

      I think Buddy is purring right on his lap and loving on him, don’t you?

      Reply
      1. Missy's Crafty Mess
        March 27, 2019 at 04:41 pm

        Yes I do

        Reply
  21. Val - Corn, Beans, Pigs & Kids
    March 28, 2019 at 12:19 pm

    I’ll be thinking of all of you this week. I loved reading your Carlton updates and to see the joy he brought to so many people doing both big and small things.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      March 29, 2019 at 09:23 am

      Thanks so much, Val. It’s been a long week and the culmination with his service on Sunday will be very emotional I am sure. I can not believe how many lives he touched in his 49 years on this earth and I hope we are able to pay tribute to him in the best of ways.

      Reply
  22. Laura Weers
    March 21, 2020 at 05:26 pm

    What a wonderful tribute. Every life makes a huge difference in the world.

    Reply

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