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February 9, 2015

The Ties That Bind

33 Comments/ 4108/ 0

My friend Katy who blogs at Learning As I Go and I were talking the other night about family.  About siblings. About family dynamics and what those dynamics can look like in different families.

Families can be complicated and messy sometimes I have found. Even the most “normal” looking family can have some hidden things going on under the surface and behind closed doors.  But then what is normal?

Families have morphed over the years and the families of today do not look like the families of years gone by.  Growing up our family was the typical looking family of that era.  Dad + Mom + 4 children = typical family unit.   I loved being in a family with siblings and really did not realize how fortunate I was until years later when I looked back on all of the fun adventures we had as a family.

My brother, Mark, is two years older than me so that means that we were probably the closest when we were growing up together.  He was ornery and mischievous and curious.  Oh- so curious.  I remember so many times when he brought home interesting “finds” that were forbidden to be brought inside the house.  It is no wonder he went on to live out his passion and make his living as a wildlife biologist.  He always had an inquisitive mind and loved to learn new things.

This is one of my favorite pictures from my childhood.  I loved my brother (still do) and I don’t know what prompted this picture but it is obvious that I adored him and looked up to him.  Even at that young age it is evident, don’t you think?

 

markandbethannAs we grew older that bond remained.  I had good relationships with my older brother, Chris and my sister, Paula, but I have to admit that growing up Mark and I were best buddies and the age difference between us being what it was probably made that even easier.  He had a easy going disposition and I think that pretty much jived with mine so it was a friendship between siblings that was natural.

Mark is brilliant.  He really is.  I imagine if he reads this post he will be shaking his head about that because he is a pretty humble guy but he has a quick mind and a quick wit to match.  I remember many a time my mom saying to him after he had done something naughty that even though she was laughing he was still in trouble.

We went to the same high school together and even though he was a much better student than I was I never felt the comparison that many younger siblings might experience.  He did his thing and I did mine and even the teachers who we had in common seemed to appreciate each of us for the individual that we were.  I think that speaks volumes for those teachers, don’ t you?  We both had our own strengths and I am glad that mine were recognized and not compared to his.  After all – he could not boast that he was a Glenn Tone, could he?

We had fun together and quite honestly that is what I remember most about my childhood.  We just had fun.  I mean look at this picture!  How many high schoolers would let their sister ride on their shoulders through the house?

markandmeMark and I also attended the same college and while he lived off campus in a trailer that probably should have been condemned it was always comforting to know that he was there.   We talked recently about a time when he invited Chris and I over for dinner.  We had a frozen pizza and I think I hurt his feelings a bit by not realizing that that meal accounted for probably 75% of his food budget that week.  Heck, maybe even that month.  It was a treat for him and I probably acted like an ungrateful sister and acted like it was no big deal.  I officially and formally apologize here and now for that.  I hope he forgives the shallow and ungrateful Beth Ann from that day.

Yes, I have been blessed with many wonderful memories of times with my brother over the years. The time that we get to spend together is much briefer these days with the geographical separation but today I was feeling a bit nostalgic when I ran across these pictures and felt compelled to write a bit about sibling love.  I love all of my siblings – no doubt about it.  What a wonderful thing to know that we can always depend upon one another.

How do you relate to your siblings?  Are your memories of growing up happy ones like mine or are there ones you would rather just forget?  Do you maintain ties as you grow older or let those go by the wayside?  I would love to hear from you today so please feel free to leave a comment. Remember it is all for Comments for a Cause.

Chris, Paula, Beth Ann and Mark   June 2014

Chris, Paula, Beth Ann and Mark June 2014

 

 

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33 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. livinglifejoyfully
    February 09, 2015 at 06:08 am

    GREAT post today! We often talk about family and how it is so different now. Growing up in a family of yours, mine and ours it was a different dynamic. My mom’s family always got together and we got close to our cousins. Now, sadly, I hardly see or talk to my siblings or any of my cousins. My kids don’t even know some of their cousins. I miss the families of old sometimes!!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 06:10 am

      it seems to be different these days in a lot of ways. Different can be good but I miss the days sometimes when things were simpler and when I had more time with my siblings, you know? I miss them and there is nothing like a brother or sister .Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  2. Dianna
    February 09, 2015 at 06:15 am

    Love this! I always wanted an older brother (to beat up the bullies on the bus!) My two sisters were teenagers when I was born, so I was much closer to my nieces and nephews. I became an aunt at 2 1/2!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 06:17 am

      2 1/2????Wow! That is very cool. I think families all look different, don’t you? I love how diverse a family can be and how alike at the same time.

      Reply
  3. lclalor
    February 09, 2015 at 07:04 am

    I was blessed with four brothers and I was the second born. I have wonderful memories of all of them and our childhood. Today the oldest and the youngest remain having lost one brother to cancer and one to heart disease. Yesterday was the anniversary of my brother, Collier’s, death from cancer so this is a particularly poignant post for me. None of us knows how much time we have so cherish every moment.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 05:05 pm

      I am so glad that you have such great memories as well. I am sure that with four brothers you were spoiled a bit and also taken care of and looked out for. What a wonderful thing. SO sorry for your loss — it dos make every moment one to be cherished for sure. Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  4. Rebecca Innerst
    February 09, 2015 at 07:16 am

    Beth, sibs are, sometimes able to be there and sometimes not. As we loose our parents, and the family circkes change….grown kids, grandkids, schedules, out of staters, illness, yes and even growing older, the times we are together physically are less BUT when we do get together …watch out! Childhood rolls back in and all the fun and games with it. And the next generation asks, are these really my relatives? Great post as the Kline clan heads into our Salt Fork weekend! Thanks!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 05:04 pm

      I bet you guys will have a fabulous time at Salt Fork. I love that you guys all do that and make it a priority. It is difficult to get everyone together but making the effort is worth all the work in the end when it comes together. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
      1. Rebecca Innerst
        February 09, 2015 at 06:05 pm

        It has always been Presidents weekend for 20 years. I think that helps if the Brown kids ever start. Seems a good winter weekend to get together!

        Reply
  5. jenieats
    February 09, 2015 at 08:04 am

    Your brother sounds like a cool guy. The photos are great and it’s fun to see your family has a love of animals:)

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 05:02 pm

      He is a very cool guy and yes—we all love animals. His passion is very evident by what he does.

      Reply
  6. Minnesota Prairie Roots
    February 09, 2015 at 08:19 am

    I love, love, love that photo.

    I, like you, was blessed to have a wonderful upbringing with five siblings. We still get together with our families twice a year. Not everyone can always be there, but most of us are. I know I can always count on my siblings to have my back.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 05:02 pm

      Thanks, Audrey. It is a precious picture without a doubt and you can understand why it is one of my favorites. I love that your family gets together as frequently as they do—that has to be quite a fun time. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Cathrina Constantine
    February 09, 2015 at 09:10 am

    Hello, Beth, nice to meet you. Great Post!!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 05:00 pm

      Thanks so much, Cathrina! I appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to comment. Nice to meet you as well!

      Reply
  8. Mama's Empty Nest
    February 09, 2015 at 09:15 am

    I have two older sisters – they are 12 and 9 years older – and we’ve always been close even though we lived far away from one another for many years. I think when you grow up in a close-knit, loving family you don’t even realize what a blessing that is until you become an adult and hear others share their heart-wrenching stories about serious family strife.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 04:59 pm

      I think you are very correct about that. I know so many who do not have the wonderful memories or relationships that I have and it makes my heart so sad. For me it is just what is normal but it really isn’t.

      Reply
  9. Katy Flint
    February 09, 2015 at 09:38 am

    LOVE that picture of you at such a young age! What a cutie! Love this post too! (Thanks for the mention as well!) Siblings are pretty great and while the dynamics between them can sometimes be difficult or on a different level there isn’t nothing that can replace that relationship with them!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 04:58 pm

      I was a cutie then, wasn’t I? What happened? 🙂 Glad you liked the post—see what happens when 2 bloggers get together? A blog post is born!

      Reply
  10. Darlene
    February 09, 2015 at 11:42 am

    I was also lucky to have wonderful siblings. I am the oldest have three wonderful younger brothers. We are all different but love each other and have respect for each other. My youngest brother is 16 years younger than me and we are very close. I don´t have a sister but I have an aunt my age I am very close to. Siblings are indeed a blessing. Love your pictures.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 04:58 pm

      You really had a huge age difference between you and your brother but how wonderful for both of you that you share a close relationship. That is a blessing.

      Reply
      1. Darlene
        February 10, 2015 at 07:19 am

        It is a real blessing. My other 2 brothers are 3.5 years and 7 years younger than me. Unfortunately we lost the brother who was 7 years younger than me when he was 19. Still miss him after all these years. Makes me appreciate the two I still have even more.

        Reply
        1. Beth Ann Chiles
          February 11, 2015 at 07:56 pm

          I would imagine the loss of your brother at that young age was a very sad and traumatic thing to have to endure. I bet you do really appreciate the other brothers that you still have with you, I know I certainly would.

          Reply
  11. kap2406
    February 09, 2015 at 01:58 pm

    With a 7 year difference (me being the older), my sister and I had kind of a hard time relating growing up. I was old enough to have to take care of her a lot and not have much in common, while still young enough to be more selfish than I care to admit. It wasn’t until I went to college that we actually started to become close. I am grateful to have a positive relationship with her now, but sometimes wish that we had an earlier start of it.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 09, 2015 at 04:57 pm

      I think the age gap is a key thing as well. I really grew to appreciate my sister more when we got older. Now we are best friends. Funny how that works.Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  12. Helen Brown
    February 09, 2015 at 08:07 pm

    I, their mother, am proud of all four of my children as they were all pretty good kids and are happy and get along well when they get a chance to be together. I am so proud of each one of them.

    Reply
  13. Mark
    February 09, 2015 at 11:16 pm

    Wow, I’m more than a little bit floored… This is Mark, brother, the unworthy subject, of recent post. Great photos, I can’t believe you unearthed those photos! You’ve forgotten (or forgiven, which is way more impressive), all of the mean things I did to you when we were growing up, and I really DID do some mean things, in my juvenile ignorance… I agree, we have a special connection, and I cannot fathom that! A testament to your character. I DO believe that our family has stronger than normal ties, which is a incredibly comforting.

    I have a memory, relating to my propensity for bringing home strange things, and your involvement. North Fairfield. We were probably both in grade school. I loved fishing in the creek behind our house, spending all day, traveling untold miles, with no adult supervision (rare these days). I remember coming home with a huge haul of fish, all kind of trashy (suckers, chubs, and assorted minnows). The first step in my early fish-cleaning strategy (before I learned to filet fish) was to cut off their heads. Beth Ann came out to help me. One of us decided to slide a fish head onto our finger, as kind of a ring. Before it was all over, both of use had hands completely adorned with “fish rings.” I would give anything to have had a photo of that, but that was well before the days of digital photos, so it remains undocumented. Trust me, it happened… Beth Ann was totally on board, proudly displaying her hand full of “fish rings.” Can you picture that? Probably not, but she was the best little sis, ever…Generous, to a fault, forgiving, and loving, despite my proclivity to irritate.

    Best sister, ever!

    Mark

    Reply
  14. [email protected]
    February 10, 2015 at 05:51 am

    its crazy! you look EXACTLY the same as you did in that first picture when you were a little girl!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 13, 2015 at 07:23 am

      And this is why you are my friend, Hilary! You speak the truth. Hahahah!

      Reply
  15. Marla aka Crazy Mom
    February 11, 2015 at 06:50 am

    My sister and I get together every Wednesday eve for Mexican & margaritas! Our older brother lives out-of-state, so he misses out but we tell him we have one for him, occasionally. 😉

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 11, 2015 at 07:51 pm

      That is a great tradition! I think I would have one for your brother as well!

      Reply
  16. donnahup
    February 12, 2015 at 12:50 am

    You were adorable! I have 3 sisters whom I adore. They’re some of my best friends 🙂

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      February 12, 2015 at 06:48 am

      I was pretty darn cute at that age, I have to admit. My brother was cute, too, and ornery. Doesn’t that face just say ornery?

      Reply

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