What keeps you up at night? Lately there are plenty of things that could do that, aren’t there? Hurricanes of epic proportions, government shut downs, the lack of affordable housing almost everywhere, the evilness that sometimes rears its ugly head in the most unexpected ways and places, and the list continues on and on.
Even though those are the never ending list of things to keep me up at night, that is not what I am thinking about . What I think about in those wee hours of the morning are the things that are more personal in nature.
How about that time when I was a church secretary and ran the 11 am bulletin information on the 8:30 am bulletin?
How about the time in 3rd grade when I was a contestant in the county spelling bee and failed MISERABLY much to the dismay of my principal who had such high hopes of our school winning?
What about the time I told an elderly friend that he had pneumonia when he did not know it. His family had made us all aware of it and I felt like I had leaked really sensitive information which is quite unlike me.
Recently I sent the wrong attachment (twice, I might add) to fellow committee members even though I had all my documents labeled correctly.
And what about that time when I was trying to be a salesperson for our small family business and I failed miserably to make the conditions of not taking back unsold merchandise back clear?
All these and more are what roll around in my little brain during those twilight hours. It is a video that is on a loop and just when I think it is over, another memory pops up and starts rolling. It’s funny, isn’t it? None of these things are earth shattering. None were life changing. Some were embarrassing but why on earth do I even think about any of these things anymore? It’s ridiculous but it is how my brain works.
Anxiety is a real thing and even though I have come a long way in managing those anxious feelings, it is those middle of the night remembrances that keep me wondering why they are still on my mind. It’s ridiculous and I wonder if I am alone in this. I don’t always have these thoughts, thank goodness, or I would really need to seek some help. More often than not I have a lovely dream or one that I wake up laughing about. Last night I was wrestling with a huge wolf —- maybe it was due to Maksim sleeping on my chest part of the night.
So what about you? Do you sleep ? Do you have things that keep you awake? Let me know in the comments and Comment for a Cause for Cyversity.
