It's Just Life

  • Home
  • About
  • Comments for a Cause
  • Tea and Teapots
  • Books
  • Travel
  • Writing
  • Recipes
  • Products
December 19, 2019

Journey Through Dementia : Precious Memories

12 Comments/ 72/ 1

I was able to spend some time with my sweet mom recently and it was, as always, a bit bittersweet. While she does not say my name anymore my husband says she “lights up” when she sees me. I will take that. Any day. All day. And always. Always — when I say goodbye and hug her and tell her she loves me she says she loves me back. That makes up for any of the other things that are so difficult to watch.

This last visit she was missing her glasses when we visited and I searched high and low in her room for them to no avail. The thing that she does now is move and rearrange things. This is a typical behavior and one that I have noticed for a long time. Perhaps even back to several years ago when she was convinced that the staff was stealing from her.

Chris and I searched all the drawers, under the bed, on the shelves, etc. and had no luck. I doubt that her glasses really help her that much as I suspect her macular degeneration has progressed to the point where her vision is truly impaired but she just didn’t look right without them to me. I alerted the staff but had no real hope of finding them. I figured that somewhere among the torn up greeting cards and magazine pages she had thrown them out and no one had caught it.

Fast forward to the next visit and still no glasses were gracing her face. Chris randomly opened a dresser drawer and pulled them out. I had looked in that drawer several times and no luck so either she moved them or I need my own prescription adjusted. Whatever the case we found them and the game of hide and seek was over. Just another part of the life of someone with dementia.

Reunited with her glasses!

As I baked Christmas cookies today I thought of the past years when I made cookies with my mom. It was a holiday tradition and one that I carried through after I left home. Christmas is not Christmas without at least a dozen different kinds of cookies to enjoy and give away. As I pulled out the ingredients today to make the beloved No Bake Chocolate Cookies I remember how when I came home from college I would always empty out the pantry of cocoa and chocolate chips to make cookies to take back to Chris. I can still hear my mom “complaining” that she had to stock up on those items when I came home. I don’t think she was really complaining but it reminded me of those precious times of making cookies with her and how much fun we had. I am so grateful for those memories.

Dementia has taken so much of my sweet mother from me but it won’t take away these special memories of times we shared and I am so grateful for that. Do you have any special holiday memories of things done with your own parents? I would love to hear all about them in the comments section so Comment for a Cause for The Haven of Transylvania County.

Share:
← Previous Happy Birthday to Mr. Diamond – It’s His Diamond Jubilee!!!!
Next → Festival of Trees 2019 – The Children’s Center of Transylvania County

Related Articles

  • 40 Years

  • The Day After Father’s Day

  • Long Days

  • A Message Discovered and Cherished

  • Gramma and Grampa Camp

12 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. Joyce
    December 19, 2019 at 06:23 am

    Oh, your post touched me today. I’m sure I’m not the only one. As I age so do my parents. Dad is showing signs of dementia. Mom in and out of the hospital since July with a string of health issues. Neither really able to take care of the other and barely taking care of themselves. I don’t live close enough to keep a good eye on them. Going down for weekly visits to check their meds and diet, and going to dr appointments during the week for both of them. Praying some decisions are made soon regarding their living situation. Anyway, all this making Christmas traditions go by the wayside. Is that why things seem so off kilter this year? My own 24 year old children are coming home this weekend and I’m so looking forward to the traditions we have with them. (2 kids, blended family, not twins🤗) Making homemade cookies and egg nog. Watching Little Women. Playing Mario Kart the 4 of us—now while drinking wine. It is a weird mix of adult and child as they grow into adulthood and as my role with my own parents reverses to a weird mix of adult and child as they regress from their once independent selves. Merry Christmas.

    Reply
  2. dawnkinster
    December 19, 2019 at 07:47 am

    She looks good! Such a difficult time for you, but wonderful that you are focused on the happy memories. We used to make those no bake chocolate cookies too, I had forgotten about them until I saw your picture.

    One of the best memories I have of my mom happened the last time I saw her. It was July of 2004, and she had saved the Christmas cards they had received the previous December for me. I liked to read the letters inside the cards of so many of their friends that I also knew. So I was sitting on the floor reading Christmas cards and she was sitting in a chair next to me, telling me stories about the people, reminding me where I might have met them, or how they had become friends, where their kids were today, who was ill, who had traveled where. One of the Christmas cards was from a good friends of theirs who I had also grown to know. The wife had died unexpectedly that February, only a couple months after she wrote the card. Mom and I talked about how hard that is to grasp, here one day, gone another day. And ten days later my own mom was gone to an aortic aneurysm. I am so glad we had that time, just the two of us.

    Reply
  3. Carolee
    December 19, 2019 at 07:51 am

    I imagine you have countless wonderful memories with your parents, but I know that the recent years loom largest. (I don’t know if that sentence is correct!) This year is especially bittersweet for our family as well. We moved my parents into a retirement community the first of April. My Dad took a fall a month later and passed away on June 24th, four days after his 94th birthday. My Mom is here in Maryland for a couple of weeks to celebrate Carter’s college graduation and Gordon’s retirement. I hope that it will help her avoid some of the strangeness that Christmas in a new place for the first time in 50 years is bringing her. I’m so thankful for the years we’ve had and the memories we hold, but it’s hard to know how to help her with these changes. She’ll go home to El Paso on the 23rd to spend Christmas in her church, singing in her choir. That’s where she recharges and builds up strength to face the new day. May God bless your family this Christmas and always.

    Reply
  4. Mama's Empty Nest
    December 19, 2019 at 08:03 am

    Those memories sustain us. Even though my mom’s been an inhabitant of heaven for 20 years now, my memories of her give me a lot of comfort. And one of those is baking Christmas cookies with her. I can remember one year when I came home from college for Christmas and when I walked in the house, the aroma of fresh baked cookies met me as Mom was busy baking away. What a wonderful homecoming that was. 🙂

    Reply
  5. jena c. henry
    December 19, 2019 at 08:06 am

    Merry Christmas Beth! I enjoyed your story and the beautiful stories of your commenters.

    Reply
  6. susi_snaps
    December 19, 2019 at 08:31 am

    I love looking through pictures and going down memory lane. It helps so much to remember the good times before dementia enters a life. I’m glad you were able to find your mom’s glasses of only to make her seem more herself.

    Reply
  7. Darlene
    December 19, 2019 at 10:27 am

    I´m so glad you had some time with your dear mom. And happy the glasses showed up. They may have gone out with the wash and the staff put them back in the drawer. We had something similar happen with mom´s wedding rings. And don´t get me started on the hearing aids! We have given up on them as we´ve replaced them so many times. But those are small things and we are so happy with her care. I have so many wonderful Christmas memories; baking and cooking with mom is one of them. Sleigh riding with dad when he hitched up the team of horses to the wooden sleigh and we went dashing through the snow. The laughing around the table as we stuffed ourselves with cabbage rolls, turkey, mashed potatoes and all the trimmings. We didn’t have much in material things, but we had so much love. Thanks for spurring these memories.

    Reply
  8. Shirley Matthews Dunn
    December 19, 2019 at 11:17 am

    So glad you had more precious time with your lovely Mom. I lost my Mama 47 years ago this month, she was only 39 years old. So of course I am blessed to have memories of some Christmas pass.

    Reply
  9. Virginia
    December 20, 2019 at 06:47 am

    You are walking this well! I have so many photos of holding my mother’s hand – especially during her last week.
    When I would tell my mother that I love her , she would respond with I love you more.

    Holding you and your family in prayer, dear friend.

    Reply
  10. Minnesota Prairie Roots
    December 20, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    I empathize. It’s hard, so hard, to witness the declines of our mothers. I’m glad you had that visit with your mom and that Chris found her glasses.

    I see my mom tomorrow and I expect it may be for the last time as her health is deteriorating rapidly.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      December 20, 2019 at 12:26 pm

      I am so sorry, Audrey. My prayers are with you. ❤️

      Reply
  11. Jeni
    December 22, 2019 at 08:28 am

    Sending merry Christmas wishes to your mom! I’m glad you did end up finding her glasses. She is so loved. I also remember baking Christmas cookies with my mom. Post makes me miss her!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

  • Subscribe To Rss Feed
  • 2,256 Followers
  • 2,272 Fans
  • Followers
  • Subscribers
  • Subscribers
  • Follow It's Just Life

Comments For A Cause

  • Comments for a Cause – More Literacy, Please!

  • Comments for a Cause – July 2022 Edition

  • Comments for a Cause- Giving to Uvalde

  • It’s May – Time for Comments for a Cause

  • Comments for a Cause – Reece’s Rainbow

  • Comments for a Cause – Help for Ukraine

  • Powering Up with Comments for a Cause

  • Comments for a Cause – Cats, Cats, and More Cats

  • Comments for a Cause – Alzheimer’s Association

  • Comments for a Cause – A Roof Over Their Heads

  • Comments for a Cause – A Celebrity Cause

  • Comments for a Cause – Giving Help Where Needed

  • Comments for a Cause – College Loyalty

  • Comments for a Cause – Saving Sight Through Research and Education

  • A Reason for Jubilee – Comments for a Cause

Check Out My Past Posts

August 2022
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
« Jul    

Text

Follow

Pinterest

Visit Beth Ann's profile on Pinterest.

Beth's bookshelf: read

The Art of Social Media: Power Tips for Power Users
5 of 5 stars
The Art of Social Media: Power Tips for Power Users
by Guy Kawasaki
As always Guy Kawasaki has a great book with great information about all things social media. I highlighted tons of places in this book and it is definitely one that I will come back to time and time again to help me in all of the socia...
Old Girls in Low Cotton
3 of 5 stars
Old Girls in Low Cotton
by Helen Childress
This short book was one that looked like it would be a fun read. I honestly did not enjoy it all that much---it was a lot of characters bickering and while some of the writing was witty and funny it was not that kind of book that made m...
The Good Girl
5 of 5 stars
The Good Girl
by Mary Kubica
I loved this book! It had my interest from the very first page and was my "airplane" book on a recent trip. Author Mary Kubica created believable and interesting characters that the reader learned to identify with and care about. Mi...
All the Light We Cannot See
4 of 5 stars
All the Light We Cannot See
by Anthony Doerr
This is quite a book! I had it recommended to me by several people and while I thought it might be a little dark and depressing it made me have a better understanding of what life in this time period was like. The strength of the huma...
An Abundance of Katherines
5 of 5 stars
An Abundance of Katherines
by John Green
Another great book by John Green. I have become a huge fan of John Green since my reading of A Fault in our Stars and this book was another that did not disappoint me at all. It was a story of a child prodigy, a lot of anagrams, and a b...

goodreads.com

Professional Reader
Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Copyright © 2015 It's Just Life, All Rights Reserved.

  • Media Kit, Advertising and Disclosure
 

Loading Comments...