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March 19, 2011

To Give or Not to Give

4 Comments/ 1327/ 0

That is the question.  To give or not to give.  Yesterday as I was tooling around town I happened upon a gentleman at a stoplight by a pretty busy area where there are plenty of stores.   He had a cardboard sign.  The usual plea for money.  “Down on my luck. God Bless.”  Of course the light turned red and I stopped right next to him and yes, I admit it, I made eye contact.  And since I made eye contact I got a bill out of my wallet, rolled down the window and gave the gentleman the money.  He said he hoped God blessed me and I told him that he already has and that I hoped that he had a good day.  Not enough time in the split second before the light changed and the cars behind would start honking at me to go to get his life story .  If I had been on foot I am sure I would have.  It is my gift, you know!

But it got me to thinking about how many people do what I do occasionally.   I know the skeptics will say he just took that money and spent it on booze or drugs or something else not so great for his body.  And then there are those like me who believe that once it is given it is no longer ours to determine how it is used so we give with the faith that it helps this person somehow.  I know it is risky to give this way.  That is why I prefer to give through my church or through organizations  that I know are trustworthy.  But there are times when I feel my heart pulled in the other direction and just give as I did yesterday.  Our two boys have different ideas on this.  One would most likely never ever give to someone on the street and the other routinely empties his change cup in his car and gives it out to a person down on his / her luck.

So where do you weigh in on this?  I know I am naive about a lot of things and still continue to try to trust folks at their word and think the best of people.  It is just who I am.  Even when I have been taken advantage of and lied to I still find it hard not to give folks the benefit of the doubt.  And as to the man yesterday—I think it was because he used color in his sign.  He had a black cross inside a red heart.   My favorite color red —I think that is what pulled me in.

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4 Comments

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  1. Bernie
    March 19, 2011 at 09:40 am

    It seems like every intersection in our town shopping areas has someone begging for money. *sigh* Its sad.
    Yesterday the Mr. and I were out and about. Near a freeway exit there were a couple younger people looking for a hot meal. The Mr. said, “If we didn’t have the dog in the car, I would take them out for a hot meal.” (Our dog is not friendly and would not enjoy the extra company) We both wished the dog had been at home so we could have done this.
    To be honest, I’m almost jaded to the folks asking for money. I hate to say that. I get sad and frustrated every time we go shopping there is someone asking for money. Some I’m sure do need a hand up. Others I’m not so sure.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann
      March 19, 2011 at 09:46 am

      Oh you are not jaded at all. I think there are definitely folks who take advantage. And I do know that I am naive about this kind of thing. I don’t always give. But I had a week filled with a health scare with a happy ending so I think that played into my generosity also. I don’t blame anyone for not giving to these folks—I have read many articles about how much they can actually bring in at a busy intersection. But something tugged at my heart this time. I guess I sometimes go with the heart strings and not common sense.
      As for your dog—I can’t imagine that you have a non friendly dog! That does not fit in with my image of you!!! LOL

      Reply
  2. Galaxian
    March 19, 2011 at 10:43 am

    Cardboard signs usually mark phonies, who may not even be homeless. Give, or not, guiltlessly in either case. Homeless are tough birds, and will survive much as crows do.

    On a more philosophical note:

    Comes now the unfortunate question of whether well-intentioned private parties are effective. This is something like throwing starfish back into the ocean after a mass beaching. I don’t have a right to knock it. Homelessness remains functional under this treatment, however.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann
      March 19, 2011 at 02:00 pm

      Yeah—it is difficult to know, isn’t it??? I know that some are dishonest and it does make it difficult to know when to help and when not to. I like your starfish analogy—it is true. And I was putting it out there asking for opinions so I appreciate your honesty!!! Thanks for stopping by!!! Have a great weekend!

      Reply

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