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October 11, 2019

When Parents Become Persons

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The Bookshop of Yesterdays by Amy Meyerson

Sometimes there are quotes in books that really nudge me in a way. I have been on a reading streak lately again and one of my recent books on my nightstand was The Bookshop of Yesterdays by Amy Meyerson. I enjoyed the book and thought it was well written but the above quote stuck in my head and I took a quick picture of it so I would not forget it. You know what that means, right? Blog post worthy.

I remember that time when your mom stops being a parent and becomes a person…

Amy Meyerson

Do you remember? I may not remember the exact moment but I do remember the feeling. My mom and I always had a really great relationship. I think being the youngest has its advantages at times and one of the advantages is that I was home alone with my parents after the older kids went off to college for a few years. I had that one on one time with them when I was old enough to appreciate it.

My parents, especially my mom, became more than a mom. She became a friend and confidante and at times she told me that she sometimes wished I didn’t share as much as I did with her. She didn’t mean that in a bad way – she just meant some of the things I shared with her were hard for her to hear. Teen years filled with angst and all of that, you’ve got the picture.

I guess this quote is especially poignant for me now as my mom is struggling so much with dementia. She is in that in between place. She no longer is able to perform the duties of the “mom” role and her role as a “person” is limited as well. Last week she had a fall that scared us all but fortunately after a thorough check up at the hospital we found out that the only damage was a scrape on her head. She was very lucky, I guess, that that was all that happened to her but gosh – it is probably just a matter of time till another fall occurs.

While my mom has lost a lot of those “mom” qualities she still remains my mom and a person whose life is still full of worth. She struggles with the question of why she is still here. As she approaches her 90th birthday next month all I can tell her is that she is still needed. I will always need my mom. While she has moved from mom to person with dementia she will always be mom to me.

So many people have the same experiences as me and it helps to share them with one another. Please feel free to leave me a comment if you have thoughts to share. Each comment made on the blog this month means a 50 cent donation to our Comments for a Cause – Warm Clothing for Kids.

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