“Are you spoiled?” she asked. The context was the fact that I got to board the airplane before she did—I had “Sky” on my ticket and she had Zone 3. I laughed it off and denied it but it has stuck with me for months. Long enough that it makes me think that maybe there might be a grain of truth to her words.
After all, I did get priority boarding on a plane. I do have everything that I need and more. Much more.
Her words are resonating with me today for some reason and they have me thinking.
Yes, I am spoiled. Being the “baby” of the family I was always accused of being spoiled because I got my way all of the time. Now I remember it quite differently. I remember being the baby and not being able to do everything that the older kids were allowed to do.
I remember getting my sister’s hand me downs. Not that that was a bad thing but I do remember that sometimes I got to wear the same dress twice. Once when the one that was made for me fit and then 5 or 6 years later when the one that was made for my sister fit me.
I remember getting quite a bit of attention as the youngest. After all I had 3 older brothers and sisters who could play with me and keep me entertained. I have to admit I was a pretty cute little kid in those days.
But spoiled? That’s a good question. Definition from Merriam Webster:
: to have a bad effect on (something) : to damage or ruin (something)
: to decay or lose freshness especially because of being kept too long
: to give (someone, such as a child) everything that he or she wants : to have a bad effect on (someone) by allowing too many things or by not correcting bad behavior
According to that definition I would have to say that I am not spoiled. I do not get everything I want.
I want world peace and I don’t see that happening.
I want every person in the world to have bellies full of food and that probably won’t happen in my lifetime.
I want life to be easy for everyone I know. Not gonna happen.
But as far as material needs. Yes, I admit it. I might be spoiled. Chris has always been a wonderful provider and indulges me when he can. But at the same time I see that he gives back and shares the blessings that he has received with others as well.
There is another thing that sticks in my head.
Luke 12:48-53The Message (MSG)
47-48 “The servant who knows what his master wants and ignores it, or insolently does whatever he pleases, will be thoroughly thrashed. But if he does a poor job through ignorance, he’ll get off with a slap on the hand. Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities!
I have known my share of individuals who have been blessed with financial prosperity. Most of the ones that I know intimately are folks that you would never know that they “have money” from their actions and demeanor. They do their good deeds quietly and without fanfare. Others may have no idea what their stock portfolio is and that is how I believe it should be.
I believe that we are all entrusted with gifts that are meant to be shared. The more gifts you have the more responsibilities you have. Quietly and humbly. Without fanfare or accolades. Gifts don’t always mean monetary gifts either.
So am I spoiled? The answer may still be maybe but until I get everything I want in life like perfect hair I will still think that I am not. What about you? Has anyone ever accused you of being spoiled?
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Food for thought this morning. I think the part of the definition that doesn’t apply to you is “to have a bad effect on someone by allowing too many things or by not correcting bad behavior.” People that are spoiled typically behave badly because they haven’t been corrected. I’ve never seen bad behavior from you so I think you are simply a fortunate person who willingly shares what she has. And I suspect if you could share your “sky” status, you would.
Thanks, Laura. I was just thinking about it and it came out in a post. You know how that happens. 🙂 Thank you for your kind words. I am just kind of mulling it all over.
Interesting thoughts. Don’t think of you as spoiled but rather as someone who has been blessed. You understand that you have been blessed but sometimes that puts you in a quandary though. More importantly you realize that the blessings you have received are meant to be shared.
Blessings are meant to be shared and you get that, Ozzie! You share every single day at Hawkeye Harvest and ask for nothing in return. That is a true servant heart and you have it.
I think the difference between “being spoiled” being a bad or good thing, depends what you’re “being spoiled” with. Are you spoiled by money or by love? If by money or material things, where a person gets whatever they want, no matter the “cost”, then that is a bad thing. Those types of spoiled people feel entitled and are dependent on others. Being spoiled with love means you give from the heart, have appreciation for gifts and people, and that you’re compassionate. I’m spoiled with hugs, kisses, time with family, etc.
I think you nailed it on the head, as usual, Val. How did you get so wise? I think that it is the “entitlement” idea that bothers me most at times about people. No, we are not entitled to anything. It is God’s grace that covers us. I think we share a similar heart and I love the fact that you are spoiled with all those hugs and kisses and family time. Thanks for stopping by.
You are one of the most giving people that I know….. period! So, from that point of view, you are a blessing to many and if you are spoiled- you don’t flaunt it. You have been blessed.. you and your husband are givers and understand that everyone has a different path in life. It’s also evident that God is #1 and your family follows right behind, as things should be. So proud to call you my rockstar friend- spoiled or not!
Thanks, Sara. I didn’t really write this to get all this attention –it really was weighing on my mind. I just think we all give in different ways and God blessed me with a very giving heart. Just how I am. And I am glad. 🙂
Ive never been accused of it in so many words but I’m sure people think it. Like you I’m lucky enough to have things others don’t but I also believe that I work hard for some of those things. I often tell the kids that they are spoiled since I grew up very differently from them and they have advantages that i didn’t. There are different kinds of spoiled… Working in a private school with some very privileged kids has certainly brought that home more than once. Just like Val said before me…
You said it very well! I think there are those who really don’t get how much work goes into getting to the place that we are at times. It is not just given to us. Chris has worked very hard, made sacrifices and done things to get him to the point of success in his job. It did not come overnight and was not handed to him. The same for you guys. It is for sure that there are different kinds of spoiled. I agree with that 100%. Thanks for the great words.
No accusations of being spoiled ever thrust at me.
As for you, NO YOU’RE NOT SPOILED. You are kind and caring and compassionate and so many of us have been blessed by the blessings in your life. I totally agree with Val’s comment.
Thank you, Audrey. It just left me thinking, you know? Sometimes I need to kind of reevaluate and then this house hunting thing has me thinking that maybe I want too much on this end as well. Argh!
I was an only child and was often told that I did not act like one. This made me wonder just what was wrong. Now I know and am glad I had parents that did not give me every thing I wanted, but what I needed. The youngest child has the same problem sometimes also. I have children who are giving people and I am very proud of them.
I think your mom did a wonderful job of making sure that you were very well grounded and did not get spoiled. You passed that along to us and it is wonderful to know that all four of us ended up having careers / lives where we all are able to give back in some way.
I am the oldest of 4 so I went through mom and dad´s toughest times. I did vow I would work hard and ensure my kids and I had what we needed (and some of what we wanted). I think we spoil ourselves sometimes but that is a treat for all the hard work. You are not spoiled (except by love and that´s a good thing). You definitely share your good fortune and I think that is what makes the difference You sure were a cutie and still are! <3
Thanks, Darlene. I think we all want the best or better for our own kids, don’t we? It just is a natural thing. We see what our parents struggled with at times and don’t want our own kids to have to endure those. To those who work hard it is a product of that hard work that got them where they are . We do try to share our good fortune and hopefully others realize that and do not think that we are high “falooting”. It is all good, right?
I agree! (haven´t heard that word for a while “high-falooting” but my mom used to say it sometimes)
You’re the last the person I’d see as spoiled. God does want you to enjoy all that he’s given you as well. You give in so many ways and you enjoy life and abundance. Isn’t that the way it should be?
I think it is, Gibber. Isn’t it funny how I start second guessing myself when something like this comes up? I start doubting and think that I am wrong when I am not. You guys are all the best. I wasn’t trying to get praise for me but you know how sometimes it just helps to write things out and get it written down? That was kind of what this was for me. Thanks so much for your thoughts.
It is. That the devil. He doesn’t want you to have any fun. So have fun!
People assume I am spoiled because I am an only child. My parents and I disagree. I am not spoiled but I am well loved!
I love it. I think you are well loved and rightfully so. You are wonderful! Thank you for stopping by!
I’m an only too and that is how I always felt, well loved. And yes I am more than a little spoiled. But I liked to think in a good way. 😀
I think spoiled in a good way is a great way to describe you. There is nothing wrong with being lavished upon and loved. I am sure your parents did that and continue to do that in the right way. Thanks for stopping by!
During a bitter argument my brother called me “a spoiled, lazy bitch” because I disagreed with him. He later found out I was right and apologized but it still stings several years later. Our relationship hasn’t recovered. I don’t trust him.
Well that is sad, isn’t it? The words that we say in anger can never be taken back and even with apologies the memory of that feeling when it was said lingers on. I am sorry that you had that experience—words have such power. They can heal or they can destroy. That is why I always try to choose mine very carefully but sometimes I don’t succeed.
Yes, very sad, and unfortunately he hasn’t learned from his mistakes in this area.
I think spoiled even though you get everything you want has more of a negative connotation. It sounded like that lady was just jealous. You are blessed. I think spoiled and blessed are the same with one difference – your attitude. A spoiled person has everything and still wants more. They usually rub it in to others too. You are NOT spoiled.
Attitude makes a huge difference, doesn’t it? I love that distinction and it is very true. Did I spoil you and Jeni???
Some people probably think I’m spoiled. I imagine my younger siblings thought I was growing up as I was the oldest and got to do things first. I thought THEY were spoiled as they got to do things much sooner than I had been allowed. You see how it goes…others are always the ones we see as spoiled..when I think possibly we all are lucky enough to get spoiled now and again. It’s what we do with that lucky moment that makes it positive or negative.
Oh I love that!!! “It’s what we do with that lucky moment that makes it positive or negative.” So true!!! Thanks,Dawn.
When someone says that my children are spoiled. I like to respond with: my children are not spoiled, they are well loved and cared for. I chose to have children and I choose to give them lots of love and sometimes things. They behave well and are respectful. They aren’t spoiled, just well loved.
I love that phrase “well loved” and it applies to my children as well. What would we do if we could not do special things for the ones we love?