I have had some long days recently and I realize that it is on those days that I really miss my mom.
It seems like a daughter always needs her mom and on the recent long days when I was tired and needed to vent I thought of my mom and how much I would have loved to have talked to her.
18 months have passed since her death and in some ways it seems like a blur. I think that is normal in some ways. We just normally think of our loved ones and want to share things with them. My mom was always my sounding board and the one I confided in and even though I have others I can do that with – I still miss her.
I think one of the things that I miss most is her sense of humor. She always had a great sense of humor and even when dementia had started to take its toll on her, she still had a great sense of humor. She would say something with a little twinkle in her eye and I knew that she was still in there behind the cobwebs and confusion.
Another thing I miss about not having her around is her comments on my blog. If I look back at my blog posts from years ago she was my most frequent commenter. I loved that she took the time to read my blog and comment on whatever it was that I wrote. I guess I realized that life was changing for her when she no longer left comments.
My mom was a creative and I miss making cards with her and seeing all the creative things that she was into doing. It brought her so much happiness and I loved to see her smile when she mastered a new technique or style. Priceless.
So on these long days I decided to just embrace missing my mom and go with it. The grief is real, even after 18 months, and I know that it is not something that just goes away.
I am so lucky that I had her for as long as I did.
That helps make the long days better.