Words are powerful. Both those that are said and those that go unsaid. Tell me your thoughts about this repost from 6 years ago.
Have you ever in your life said words that were uttered in frustration??? Are there words that you wish you could take back and pretend like they were never said? I have and I was witness to an event the other day that made me think about those words and the power of them.
I was whipping through a big box store trying to get a few groceries before I headed back to the house and I noticed a mother and her little boy who was probably 5 or so. Her cart was overloaded and as she found her way through the dairy aisle the little guy strayed away from her and got out of her sight. I was kind of keeping an eye on him to make sure he was okay while she was shopping and then she realized he had wandered into the next aisle just around the corner. She yanked his arm and said “I hope somebody does snatch you away so that you will learn what it would feel like!”. My heart broke. I so wanted to go say something but it was not my place so I said a quick prayer for the little guy and the mom. I know that she is like most of us—frazzled and overloaded—-probably weighed down by things that no one should have to endure. Her words cut through me, though, and it absolutely broke my heart.
Probably the thing that made me think even more about it was the following day I got to go see my brand new great niece—looking at her and holding her and loving on her for the afternoon was the best thing that I have done in a long time. She is perfect. I looked at her and said to Carla (mom) “How can anyone look at a baby and not know that there is a God?”. And I thought back to that frazzled mom and how somehow along the way she had lost sight of that wonderful brand newness of life. I am sure she had a lot going on. I know that we all say things in the heat of the moment that may not be the right thing to say. I know that patience runs thin. I remember being at home with 2 little ones and feeling like I was losing my mind somedays . I really do remember that feeling well even though my boys are much older now.
Words are so powerful. Once they are “out there” they can never be taken back. Words also have the power to heal. A simple “I’m sorry” can soften up the harshest words that have been spoken. I think that is why I have always loved to write —-words are powerful. They can be used for good and they can turn the tide. May all your words today be helpful words and ones that are of encouragement.
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19 Comments
Leave a commentMy mom is fond of saying, you can apologize, but you can not unsay it. I have certainly said things I wish I hadn’t. And things I wish I’d said but didn’t. I found this to be especially true around dearly departed Joe and I. When someone dies suddenly your words tend to take on even more meaning as they play over and over again in your head. I’m very grateful our words that morning were loving and playful.
It’s especially hard when you witness someone saying something awful to a child (I wish someone would snatch you…). My neighbor has called her son on several occasions within ear shot, “Fatso.” And I want to smack her. Hard. Nobody has that bad a day. Instead, I set an intention for her son that other people are helping him have a gentler childhood through kind words.
That little boy was lucky you were watching out over him and sending your kind thoughts in his direction.
Your mom is very wise! Of course I have said things that years later I still remember and even if I have apologized those words are still there. I think the hardest is when it involves children because they just don’t have the life experiences to be able to see past the hurtful words. That is why this incident is still so fresh in my mind after so many years. If only we could all just use kind words, right? But that does not seem to be the climate of some of our world today so I will over compensate and spread kind words everywhere. Just like you!
You can’t take back what is said in frustration. Better to stay quiet, but sometimes it just blurts out. I have a few times that I wish I could have kept my mouth shut. I do my best to bite my tongue and wait to speak. Of course, I have apologized and they weren’t bad, but still….On the flip side, I have heard words that I wish I never had directed at me. They play over and over in my head although I have worked hard to dismiss them now as the replay is damaging. Just stay positive and keep good things flowing out of your mouth!
Yes! I understand the words on replay thing! I have a difficult time forgetting sometimes when someone has said something that really hurts or shakes me up. But you are right–stay positive and keep those kind words coming. Thanks so much for your wonderful comment today!
Thoughtful post! There’s a meme going around on social media , something like “thanks brain for waking me up at 3am and replaying every dumb thing I ever said.” True, right. On the positive side for the poor Mom, she seemed to be very concerned about something happening to him. Sort of like freaking out when your little child dashes towards a busy street.
Exactly the sentiments I was feeling for the mom as well—-she was freaked out most likely and those things happen. I felt like she just was at the end of her rope and on a better day those words probably would not have come out of her mouth. Thanks for your take on things, Jena. Always good to read your positive thoughts!
A dear Christian counselor friend of mine says that either blessings or curses come out of your mouth. Sometimes aimed at others; sometimes aimed at ourselves. Words are so powerful. Encouragement and love are so important! Thanks friend!
Thank you, always, for your inspiring words, Virginia. You always have just the right words.
I am much more likely to speak up about verbal abuse of a child (or anyone) than I once was because I’ve become knowledgeable about the subject. And I feel that innate desire to stand up for/help the victim. Granted, it’s difficult to do without inflaming the situation. But, like you say, words are powerful and we have the ability to make a difference, maybe even protect a child, or an adult.
Yes, I’ve said words I regret. We all have. I’ve learned from those mistakes and strive for kindness. The toughest part for me (like you) is forgetting the unkind words spoken against/about me. It’s a struggle.
It is a struggle. I can recall those times and those words and they can still hurt even if years have passed. I commend you for being able to speak up at times when words need to be said. I think i would if I really saw some physical danger but the verbal assault, even if it is just as harmful, was difficult for me to figure out how to approach and diffuse without making things worse for the little boy. Because at the end of the day I was just there in a brief moment and he was going to go home with this woman and who knows if I had intervened if it would have made her even madder. IT’s a tough call. But prayer is always a good thing to do, right?
As busy moms we have all said things we shouldn´t have. I talk about these things now with my grown children and they say they always understood that I loved them even if I said hurtful things on occassion. Perhaps they are just being kind. I still feel bad.
Yes! I am also already apologizing to our boys for things I may say and do in the future that are less than wonderful —-I see how dementia is affecting my mom and if that happens to me I hope that they understand that it is not really “me”. Words. They are so powerful.
I, too, wouldn’t have had the right words to say to the frazzled mother to defuse the situation. And like you, I’ve kept my eye on kids in stores or parks when I think their parents are not keeping close tabs on them. Especially at the beach. Guess once a lifeguard always a lifeguard.
We’ve all said things that either didn’t come out right or shouldn’t have come out at all. You are right, apologizing for them doesn’t erase them. And I always think, when politicians apologize for something they’ve said or done, that the reality is the original statement or event probably does reflect what they really think. Same thing for most people I’m sure. Apologizing is just trying to make something politically correct that really isn’t and never was.
It’s people like us who are always on the lookout for those kids who are less than looked after, right? I guess it is a good thing to feel that responsibility. Yes–we definitely all say things that we regret but I hope that I am saying those things less and less these days.
Little boys like to duck under muddy water, pretend they’re drowning, and duck female or older people who wade out to check on them.
My siblings and I were in a little inlet of a lake where the bottom was muddy, but adults seemed to be standing on the bottom with their heads dry all the way across, among a crowd on a hot day. A nine-year-old boy dog-paddled up to me and said, “Your brother’s been under water for five minutes.”
“Oh ha ha ha, what’s a boy more or less?” I said, watching the toddlers and thinking my brother, age thirteen, ought to know better than to try that stupid old prank.
It was not a prank. My brother would have understood why I said what I said. I don’t know that the little boy ever did.
It definitely makes you wonder why he said that!
You must have posted this before I began following you. Oh, how sad that the mom would say that to her little boy. Last night, hubby, son and I went to a steakhouse for dinner. As we were leaving, there were several people waiting in the lobby to be seated. One little boy had walked over into the center, so that folks entering and exiting the restaurant had to walk around him. I was walking in front of hubby and son, so I didn’t see or hear what happened. The mom jerked the little boy by the arm and said: “Get your @$$ over here!” I didn’t hear that, but my son told me as soon as we were out of earshot. Simultaneously, hubby said: “There’s a future rotator cuff surgery”. I’ve often wondered how those poor little children are treated at home if they’re treated like that in public. Yes, our prayers are needed.
Thanks, Dianna, for your words and sharing your experiences. I know i am not faultless in saying harsh words but I do hope that I am more aware of what the effect is and try to be kinder with my words. That is one of my biggest challenges sometimes — finding words that build up instead of tearing down. It all takes some time and thought!
I so agree, our words have the power to heal or wound deeply. I know moms of youngsters are stressed out as I was once the frazzled mom of three, but those words thrown out in frustration or anger are not forgotten easily. I have a relative who, to this day as an older adult, remembers the first careless words out of her mother’s mouth when the mom returned from a trip without her children. Instead of being happy to see her child, the mom criticized her crossly. I know all too well I’ve expressed harsh words many times, but the more we’re aware of it, the less we do so, I hope.