May 29, 2014

If I Ran The Zoo….

One of my favorite Dr. Seuss books is entitled “If I Ran the Zoo”. In the book the story goes something like this. Young Gerald McGrew visits a zoo and while he is there he finds that the animals that are living there are just not quite exotic enough. He thinks that “if he ran the zoo” he would do it a bit differently and have animals that were indeed rare even if they were imaginary. As the book goes on, in true Dr. Seuss style, the animals that young McGrew envisions get crazier and crazier with the illustrations depicting creations that only existed in the mind of Dr. Seuss himself. An example ? He would seek out animals such as

the Fizza-ma-Wizza-ma-Dill, “the world’s biggest bird from the island of Gwark, who eats only pine trees, and spits out the bark.

As you can imagine if you have not read the book before the animals get odder and odder, stranger and stranger and the reader gets to wondering what will come next.

Thinking about this children’s book make me think about what it would look like If I Ran the Zoo…..or if I Ran the World. I have always commented when I didn’t like something that “If I Ran the Zoo”….. or World…..

If I ran the world:

Everyone would wake up with a smile on their face. Maybe our faces would have permanent smiles. Or a tattooed smile somewhere on our foreheads. That might work.
There would be no such thing as cooked carrots. Anyplace. Ever. They simply would not exist.
Coffee cups and tea cups would never go empty. They would be endless cups and always with just the perfect amount of sugar and creamer to the drinker’s liking.
Drivers would be considerate and obey all of the rules of the road.
Children would always listen to their parents and respect them.
Physical and mental illness would not exist. We would all have perfect bodies that never needed any maintenance or adjustments.
There would be no violence of any kind–no shape or form of it would exist.
There would be no meetings that went on and on with no real purpose or goal —everyone would follow perfect protocol in meetings and make things happen as a result.
There would be a Hobby Lobby in every town.
The barter system would be in place for all of our needs. Need your sidewalk shoveled???? Payment in cookies. Need your car fixed? Payment in computer help.
There would be no animals that would kill you. Or maybe better—those animals would exist but they would not have a predatory bone in their body. We could still enjoy them but they would not be dangerous.
Computers would always work. Always.
Everyone would embrace individuality and uniqueness. No one would stare at someone who was different in any way. In general everyone would be loved and accepted.