Visiting with our youngest son and his girlfriend recently made me think about anger.
Now before you start to think that I am angry with my son let me set you straight. No – not in the least. There is something so wonderful about being with our adult children and their partners. I can’t believe that these are “our” children at times.
The conversation came up about being angry and Miss Erin said she had never seen Aaron angry. Nor have I. In all of his 28 going on 29 years of life I have never seen this son angry about anything. I guess it is just not in his DNA.
He told us that it isn’t worth the time and energy. Nothing is really that big of a deal enough to get angry about.
I think he is right about this and I think I need to take his advice.
I am not really an angry person by nature but I do let things grab hold of me and keep holding on. Things that I honestly should let go. Things that never should have bothered me in the first place.
I imagine this can be true about many things. Things that upset me kind of hang on. I tend to dwell on them.
Today I shared with Aaron something that was not sitting well with me and he agreed that I probably was over reacting and not really seeing things clearly. I know he is correct in his assessment. I can not impose my expectations upon others. Just because “I” would do something differently does not mean it is THE correct way. Or the only way. It is simply my way.
Anger is wasted energy.
If we all redirected our anger to something worthwhile and productive wouldn’t that just be the best thing?
How do you handle anger? Do you fly off the handle at the slightest provocation or are you more like me and my son? Remember all comments this month mean a 50 cent donation to our Comments for a Cause —Mission Trip to Honduras.
17 Comments
Leave a commentWhen I was younger I was quick to anger. I think that as I got older I became more confident and then was able to accept that someone not agreeing with me or doing things my way wasn’t a personal affront. My motto became “that’s why there is vanilla and chocolate”.
I LOVE your motto!! Perfect!
You gave me a lot to think about! I keep writing and rewriting a comment in my mind- I will have to let my thoughts percolate. I agree with Bernadette about the chocolate and vanilla- great motto. Question- what do you mean by anger? I used to be quick to become exasperated or annoyed but I’m not sure I was angry. “Clean your room” – an outburst by me followed by a hug. Of course maybe my kids thought I was angry. I think if I had lived in the 1850’s I would have been angry about slavery. Nice to hear about your son, thanks for sharing!
Sounds as though you have a very wise son! I don’t think I get really angry too often. But, once I do, I really have a hard time letting go of it….guess I tend to hold a grudge. I, too, absolutely love time spent with my (adult) son!
I think women in general have a tendency to hang onto anger more than guys. It’s just the way we are and it’s harder to let go.
As I’ve aged, I’ve become much better at controlling knee-jerk anger. Once I’ve had time to think on something, my anger typically decreases and sometimes even vanishes.
Anger isn’t necessarily always a bad thing. Sometimes anger results in positive action and changes. It’s not always healthy to keep everything bottled inside and anger is an outlet. Sometimes people need to know that we are angry.
Whew. Keywords from the comments are on Blogspot and Live Journal; part 1 of the very long rant is free, part 2 is available to all paid-up subscribers, and part 3 is available for $5/month or more, at Patreon. Thank you for prompting…I’d been thinking about anger management as a topic for a few days now, but hadn’t planned to post anything like this many memories and research links!
(I am a blunt, mean-mouthed, but actually *not* often angry person. My late husband was an incredibly patient, gentle, soft-spoken teacher who had out-of-control rages that turned out to be the only warning he had of multiple myeloma.)
Really? Blunt and mean mouthed? I can’t believe that. But at least you embrace it, right? Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting and always being so supportive. You are one of my favorite readers! 🙂
I don’t really get angry anymore. Life has taught me that there are more important things, most of the time, than whatever has annoyed me. And that my way isn’t always the only or even the best way.
YES! You are so wise !
I think anger is a natural feeling but it’s what you do with it. Jake’s similar to Aaron – he just doesn’t get angry very often.
I agree. Anger can be good if it is channeled in a constructive way. I can see that about Jake. He seems pretty calm, cool and collected.
Ooh this post just got me so angry! LOL, I don’t get angry often and when I do it’s a brief flurry, usually projected at some inanimate object and is over as quickly as it started. NOT A FINGER! Hahahaha
Haha! I can identify with the anger at the inanimate object thing! Definitely! Glad it passes quickly!
This post came at the perfect time. Thanks. I tend to bottle my anger up and make myself ill over it. I really need to learn how to let it go. Going to bed angry is the worst!
Oh yes—going to bed angry is awful.. It can consume you and that is not good. Hugs!
When I get truly angry it’s because I have been pushed to the limit and beyond it. Fortunately getting myself out of a bad job situation means that I’m almost never angry now. Sometimes you have to take drastic action in order to make your life better. That’s what I did.
You always have to do what is best for you and while I don’t know the whole situation it sounds like you made a good choice. Letting go of anger is such a wonderful thing!