With a title like that one has to wonder if I have lost control of my ever loving mind. Well, not quite but I guess it could be coming. But the title of my post has something to do with a couple of different conversations that I have had in the last day.
The first was at our little tea party where seven ladies who did not all know each other gathered around a table for tea, food and conversation. It was indeed lovely and it reminded me of how much I have missed being able to have gatherings like this. Yes, it can be a lot of work but in the end the conversations and the connections made are priceless.
One of the things we avoided talking about were world events, political events and things that could disrupt our calm and serene tea atmosphere. One of my sweet neighbors, Wanda. shared with us that she had a group of friends who walked together in the mornings and they really enjoyed each other’s company. Sometimes, she admitted, conversations could stray into areas that were uncomfortable and so they came up with a code phrase to say. When someone says it, that conversation stops immediately and is redirected to another topic. It is a respectful way to say “I just am not ready to talk about this topic right now” without making a big deal about it. The phrase? “How do you think the rain is going to affect the rhubarb?” An innocuous question that allows everyone to reset. I love it.
Another conversation over tea with yet another friend, Pat, made the list of things to remember. As we are talking about the angst of the world and of all of the things that we are concerned about but can do absolutely nothing about she told me of something her friend told her. “Be a duck. Just let it roll like water off your head and down off your body.” I loved that too. Instead of getting all twisted up about things that we can do absolutely nothing about she has allowed herself to say to herself “I am a duck” and allow all of that angst to roll off.
There is. a time and place to discuss the bigger issues in our lives and it is good to realize that those conversations do indeed need to be had but there is also an appropriate time and place. What about you? Do you have any examples of how to redirect the topic, shed the stress and let go? I would love to read all about it in the comments so make sure you leave me one. For every comment left on the blog this month Chris and I will donate 50 cents to our Comments for a Cause — Uvalde Victims Relief Fund.
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Leave a commentBrilliant!
Great topic! Love this post! We could all just agree to only discuss ducks and rhubarb! Or grandchildren- they are wonderful to talk about! I’m pretty sheltered- surrounded by like-minded friends and relatives.
Such great wisdom. It’s so good to meet new people and expand your horizons – you never know what you might learn.
We noticed in our family when dinner conversations turn heated, or we don’t agree on something, our unifier is always food – one of us will inevitably say something about the food we are eating and that always turns the conversation around. Ally just start noticing it and it’s so true. Food for thought! 😉
Love this idea!!! Sometimes we all just need to check out from things for awhile. The closest I have is the Happy Check Trio group, a young family of three who are local friends and are touring the West this summer. The mother is doing a blog. She explained that “Happy Check” came from a time when the conversation got awkward regarding what most adults argue about: what to have for dinner. The wise young daughter wanted a pause, so she said, “We need to do a happy check right now.” That redirected the now-embarrassed parents and became their theme for their family adventures. Great blog idea! Thank you!
Very good advice indeed. I must remember the rhubarb & the ducks. So glad you all enjoyed your tea party.
These are truly creative ways to deal with unwanted topics of conversation and life. Both made me smile in a grateful and useful way. What a lovely group of women.
Thank you for sharing this awesome and respectful way to have meaningful relationships with people of different backgrounds and beliefs. I’m adding the rhubarb question to my conversational repertoire,
Oh thank you so much for such nice feedback! I have missed you! Hope all is well!
I don’t have a standard way to redirect a conversation. But since we’re still not going much of anywhere that hasn’t been the need. I do like your rhubarb/duck ideas…