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November 9, 2020

Sitting the Month – zuo yue zi

16 Comments/ 76/ 0

I love learning new things and I am constantly aware of how many cultural traditions I am clueless about. So when I have the chance to learn about someone’s culture or heritage that is different than mine own I am excited and try to embrace it.

As many of you know Chris and I are going to become grandparents for the first time later this month. Micah and Wendy are expecting a baby boy and we are over the top excited about that event as you can imagine. While we are a little unsure of when we will actually be able to see and hold him (stupid Covid-19) we are keeping positive .

Having a Chinese daughter in law is a pretty amazing thing. We have learned a lot about the culture and I feel like I am learning more every day. Obviously I have a lot to learn. One thing that I am now reading all about is the idea of “Sitting the Month” (zuo yue zi) which is a traditional Chinese occurrence when a baby is born. It is a month of “confinement”.

Wendy and her mom will be doing a version of this and I am not sure how modified it will be but I think it is a pretty amazing idea. The main idea is to take care of the new mom by having her mom stay a month. Basically the new mom is urged to just stay in her pajamas while her mom takes care of her. The mother is in charge of preparing nourishing meals consisting of broths and soups full of nourishment that will encourage milk production, keeping her daughter warm to ward off any chills or cold and just basically being a presence in the home to help with that first month.

The traditional way encourages no bathing for a month, drinking nothing cold, and eating no fruit in a effort to restore balance to the body. I am not sure how strictly my daughter in law and her mother will follow these traditions but I am loving learning a bit more about it. Honestly, it sounds really difficult and I don’t think I would be very good at it.

It is interesting how everyone approaches parenthood differently. While having a mom come to stay for awhile once the baby arrives is quite common in our own culture it was not something Chris and I really wanted. I think we wanted to start our own little family on our own without what I perceived then as an intrusion. Add to this the fact that we were surrounded by a fabulously supportive Navy community at the time of Micah’s arrival and we had all the support that we needed. But kudos to anyone who can have all the support that they need during the first weeks of bringing baby home.

So tell me – what would your ideal situation be once baby is born? If you had a special tradition I would love to read all about it. Remember to leave me a comment and Comment for a Cause for our recipient this month – Emergency Covid- 19 Combat Service.

If you want to read a little more about this practice I have included links to several articles below. Feel free to click on the links to go directly to those articles.

For Chinese Moms, Birth Means 30 Days in Pajamas

I Tried the Chinese Practice of ‘Siting the Month’ After Childbirth

Postpartum Confinement

Why New Chinese Moms are Opting to ‘Sit the Month’ in Style

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16 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. Dianna
    November 09, 2020 at 06:54 am

    Such an exciting time for your family. I really hope you’ll get to see Micah, Wendy and their little guy soon after he arrives. My mom came and stayed with us for a week when Marshall was born, and I was thrilled. (A little different circumstances for us: Marshall was born by caesarean and was 10 days old when we brought him home.) I was glad to have my Mom’s comforting presence!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      November 09, 2020 at 06:58 am

      I am sure you loved having your mom there as well! There is nothing like the care of a mom, is there?

      Reply
  2. Susi
    November 09, 2020 at 07:24 am

    I’m the same way. I love learning about other cultures and traditions. And I think that is so important – to be open to learning and understanding.
    In Germany every new mom has a midwife that is usually present at birth and then comes to visit daily for the first few weeks and then weekly to check on the mom and baby and help with anything they may need.
    Corey and I also decided to do things on our own and for the most part I think it worked well.
    I can’t wait to hear all a out your new grandson and wish the family well.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      November 09, 2020 at 07:27 am

      I love that tradition, Susi! I just finished rewatching Call the Midwife so that whole midwife thing is in my head and it seems like a great idea. I just am fascinated by how everyone has a different idea of what they want or need.

      Reply
  3. jena c. henry
    November 09, 2020 at 07:33 am

    I forwarded this post to my sis- her second grandchild will be bringing us all joy in early December. From what I’ve seen- new moms today are so healthy and fit and they have all these baby apps and they just do it! I think the Chinese tradition sounds lovely- a cozy quiet time for baby and Mom. So happy for you.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      November 09, 2020 at 07:36 am

      I know! It is so different from when our kids were little —- there is an app for everything these days! Thanks for the well wishes— you can guess how excited we all are!

      Reply
  4. Darlene
    November 09, 2020 at 07:55 am

    It´s getting close isn´t it!! What a lovely tradition. That baby will be so loved. Maksim will have to share the space with baby pictures!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      November 09, 2020 at 08:01 am

      You are so correct and their dog, Penny, is going to have to learn to share!

      Reply
      1. Darlene
        November 10, 2020 at 07:01 am

        I bet Penny will just love the baby and be very protective.

        Reply
  5. Jill Jeffrey
    November 09, 2020 at 08:22 am

    My experiences are pretty atypical but very wonderful as I was asked and welcomed to be there with Cori and Allie when their boys were born. Mike and Jeremy, my great son-in-laws were there for the births and I helped afterwards. When Allie had Preston and Liam, I was working very part time and then fully retired. They had me stay multi weeks both times. Allie had 2 C-Sections and I helped with the babies so she could recuperate. Allie and I became very close and it was wonderful. We live far from them and it was especially great to spend that kind of time cuddling those babies!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      November 09, 2020 at 08:26 am

      Love that you were able to be such a big part of those grand babies entrance into the world! Wonderful way to greet them and make memories!

      Reply
  6. Val - Corn, Beans, Pigs & Kids
    November 09, 2020 at 10:05 am

    So excited for everyone! While having someone else handle meals and household chores so you can focus on rest and the baby does sound nice, I do think having someone around for a whole month would be a lot. I always enjoyed our first night at home with each of our kids as we embraced our new family.

    My favorite tradition when a baby arrived (which I realize isn’t possible now due to COVID visitor restrictions or wouldn’t work if family lived far away) was at some point within usually the first 24 hours of the baby arriving we would welcome family and have a “BIRTHday party” complete with cake and ice cream. We would have the older siblings host the party by picking out the cake and ice cream with Dad and then welcoming all of the new guests to our room and showing off their new baby sibling. It was a come and go party that would go on for hours and was always a lot of fun. It was also nice to give us a cushion of time to be alone with the new baby before everyone arrived to meet our newest addition.

    Reply
  7. Beth Ann Chiles
    November 09, 2020 at 10:22 am

    Oh I love that idea, Val! A BIRTHday party is a perfect idea and one that I am going to remember. Of course you are correct that that probably isn’t a great idea right now but hopefully one day we can be a little bit more free with our celebrations, right? Thanks for popping by and sharing your experiences today!

    Reply
  8. Mama's Empty Nest
    November 09, 2020 at 11:25 am

    Like all of your friends, I certainly hope it doesn’t take long before you will be able to cuddle with your first grandchild. It’s an overwhelming, wonderful experience when you hold them for the first time and love just FLOODS your heart! I think the idea of “sitting the month” is an interesting concept. I actually lived with my parents when our first child was born because my then-military husband was out of the country for her birth and several months before and afterwards. I was so thankful to have both my parents help me transition during that time. For our second child, my niece came to stay for a week and cooked and cleaned,. Again so thankful for that. For our third, my retired parents came and helped me for about a month because my hubby traveled overnight frequently with his job and 3 children under the age of 6 exhausted me.

    Reply
  9. Shirley Matthews Dunn
    November 09, 2020 at 11:51 am

    Becoming a grandparent for the first time is so exciting. .29 years ago we welcomed our first grandson Andrew James and I will always remember that special and blessed day. My daughter wanted me with her when the baby was born.. I was there when My baby delivered her precious baby. So happy for you all. You have so many blessings ahead. .

    Reply
  10. Minnesota Prairie Roots
    November 09, 2020 at 02:20 pm

    No traditions here. But I enjoyed learning about the Chinese one. I’m so excited for you about the upcoming birth of your grandson.

    Reply

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