Someday, I want my children to know that there is strength and dignity in asking for help. –Jennifer Flaa
I have some of the wisest friends. I really do. They make me think all the time. They stretch me to be more than I am and to be fearless in what I try to accomplish.
Jennifer from JeniEats posted the above quote on her Facebook wall the other day. I hope she doesn’t mind that I am sharing it here because when I read it I thought “that is a blog post”. You know how my mind thinks, right?
I agree with Jeni. In the world today we somehow have placed so much emphasis on self reliance and the whole “I can do it” attitude. Don’t get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being independent. I have learned over the years to become much more independent than I originally was and I have my husband to thank for that in many respects. Our lives have been different from many other married couples, I guess, in the fact that we have moved and relocated and at times I have found myself living by myself, keeping the home fires burning while Chris traveled. That led me to realize that if I wanted to move on, to grow as an individual I had to do some things on my own and just learn to be a bit more independent. That was a good switch for me.
But it also means that sometimes I need help. Sometimes I can’t handle it all. That is okay. There is nothing wrong in asking for help however it is needed.
With a background in social work I am an advocate of seeking out help when it is needed. When I was in college one of our projects was to try to get a Parents Anonymous group started in a neighboring county. Our success was dismal because we were not the folks who needed it. As young, unmarried, childless women we had this wonderful idea but we did not have the buy in from the very people who could benefit from it. What we had was a great idea but no one from the community of those who needed this group would claim ownership. I learned a very important lesson with that failure. Help is available in many forms for many types of things but the person who needs the help has to realize there is a need.
So today I applaud all of the Jennifers of the world who realize that it is okay to ask for help for anything that might just be a bit beyond what can be handled alone. There is no shame in saying “I need help.” No shame at all. In fact if truth be known I believe it is a sign of strength when someone admits that they can’t handle a situation on their own. It takes maturity and insight to realize that the problem may just be bigger than one person can handle.
I make no assumption on what my readers may be experiencing or living through at any time. What I do know is that we can all use a little help now and then. Below I am listing some links to some resources that may be helpful. Of course this is not an exhaustive list but perhaps it might be a starting point for someone who just needs a little bit of help. Some of the organizations I am quite familiar with and some I am not but they are all good to be included. Click on any link to be taken to a separate site which will open in a new window. If you have other resource links to add please feel free to share them in the comments section. Sharing is caring.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
The Compassionate Friends: Providing Grief Support after the Death of a Child
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
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What is a tad frightening is, many years ago, our schools adopted the approach that the students’ self-worth needed huge stroking in order to produce healthy(?), adjusted, contributing adults. Well, 2 things happened. There are those who ‘think’ they have it together and practice self-confidence/arrogance to a fault and the second group who have a facade of self-assurance they think is appropriate while their innards are totally broken/torn up. Either group’s activities may take a destructive turn if “stroked” by those with motives/agendas that are far from noble. We all have a God-sized vacancy in our hearts and too many are trying to fill it with earthly “causes” that are far from who we were created to be. Asking for help is the awareness that we are not gods and, as such, able to solve/control whatever comes at us…..hmmmmmm, kinda has that “Garden of Eden apple(?)” flavor!!!!!!!! Great post!!!!!!
Thanks for your insight! As always you are spot on with your comments and observations. Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to offer your insights.
Thanks for talking about this issue. I see so many lives ruined by feeling afraid or too proud to ask for help. My life is affected as well. It’s so hard to ask often. However, when I feel afraid to ask for help, I try to remind myself that if a friend asked me for help, I wouldn’t think they were weak or that they were an inconvenience. I would just want to help them!
So beautifully put! Yes, we have to ask for help. I’m guilty of that, too. I complain that I have too much to do, yet I can’t even ask my husband to help me out. I feel like I have to do it all.
Thank you, Stephanie. As a woman I think it is difficult sometimes to ask for help but heck–we all could use a hand now and then. Thanks so much for stopping by!
A lesson I have learned all too well in the last year. I can’t, won’t, and shouldn’t do it alone.
You have modeled what it looks like to successfully accept help when needed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and now you can in turn help others when they need it.
What a great post… I am slowing trying to learn to ask for help / understand I can’t do everything on my own.
Thanks, Hilary. I think we all need a little help every now and then. 🙂
“Asking for help comes easily to me, ” is posted on my 2018 vision board. Because I want to become better at asking others for help hopefully before I am surrounded by alligators. It is also one of my 3 words for 2018. :-D.