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June 20, 2022

The Day After Father’s Day

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Sometimes I realize how short life can be and how I so want to be able to see my parents and talk to them. Father’s Day is one of those days, like Mother’s Day, that carries with it many emotions. As I reflect on my life and the important people that have made an impact on me I have to say that my Daddy was probably the greatest influencer in my early years. He and my mom raised a family in love and gratefulness, grounded in the faith that I still hold dear and surrounded us with support and encouragement.

The above picture makes me smile and tear up at the same time. I was pregnant with Micah (can you tell?) and my parents made the trip to Orlando to see me before the birth. I insisted that I did not need help during the delivery and afterwards and we compromised and they came before. I guess I was asserting my independence even in those days. Their visit was wonderful. This picture was taken at Leu Gardens which was one of my favorite places. Probably a pretty rare picture since he was the one usually behind the camera as you can see from the one hanging around his neck.

I realize that not everyone had fathers that were loving and kind and supportive. There are so many stories from friends of family ties that are severed and of traumatic childhoods. I don’t diminish those at all but I am so very grateful that I had the parents I had. How could they have known the influence that they would have on their children years later? I only hope my own sons will remember me half as fondly when I leave this mortal earth as I remember my own parents.

Did my parents have all the answers? Did they do everything perfectly? Probably not. No one does. Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world if you think about it. On the job training. But somehow we all muddle through and come out with some pretty incredible results at times.

So on this day after Father’s Day I hope that you can find some memories that make you smile. Even if it is not of your own father – maybe a father figure who made the difference in your life in some small way. We can choose to dwell on the sad and difficult times in our lives or we can choose to focus on the happy times. I will always choose that.

Today I remember the one dish my dad made – fried apples — and his love of making root beer floats for treats. Bringing home Dilly Bars from Dairy Queen. Taking me to a church meeting with him and sharing a box of Chicken in a Biscuit crackers. Putting ST37 on my multitude of cuts and scrapes. Sending yet another check to me in college because I had overspent again. Always patiently, always kindly and with love. That is his legacy.

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Daddy Father's Day grief memories parenting parents reflections Walter Paul Brown
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8 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. jena c. henry
    June 20, 2022 at 07:35 am

    Just beautiful, Beth Ann, just beautiful.

    Reply
  2. Darlene
    June 20, 2022 at 08:37 am

    Such sweet memories and I love that picture! A good father can make such a difference.

    Reply
  3. Susi K.
    June 20, 2022 at 10:49 am

    It’s wonderful you have all these memories and the love you had for your dad shines through. ❤️

    Reply
  4. Minnesota Prairie Roots
    June 20, 2022 at 11:20 am

    Your daddy sounds like a kind, loving and generous man of faith. And you, my friend, model all that in the person you are and the way you live your life with faith, love, care and generosity.

    Reply
  5. Mark
    June 20, 2022 at 01:52 pm

    One comment I specifically remember from our father’s funeral service eulogy at New Concord UMC, was that he was described as a “gentle” man. That might have been Allen Zagary, it certainly sounds like something he’d say, and he knew our family well. I’ve always thought that if you had only one word to sum up our father’s personality, “gentle” really hit the nail on the head. We were certainly blessed to have the parents we had…

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      June 20, 2022 at 01:55 pm

      Yes we were, indeed.

      Reply
  6. Shirley Matthews Dunn
    June 20, 2022 at 06:03 pm

    Beth Ann that was a beautiful heart felt Honor to your Father. I know he & your Mother are so proud of the woman you have become.

    Reply
  7. reneewilliams7
    June 20, 2022 at 08:13 pm

    Oh, that makes me smile. Beautiful memories…and yes, focus on the positive.

    Reply

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