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July 16, 2015

What Will I Leave Behind?

34 Comments/ 3391/ 2

It’s a good question, isn’t it?  What will I leave behind?  I think about this more often than I would like to admit and I suspect it has something to do with being 55.  The other day when I was shopping I was asked if I was 55 or older because I could get an extra 10% off my purchase.  Of course I said proudly that I was because I wanted that extra savings but honestly it has never been difficult for me to say my age.  After all it is just a number and why not be honest?

As time goes on I find myself thinking more and more about what I will leave behind.  Oh I don’t mean riches and lasting monuments because that is not really part of my life but I wonder about what others see in me and my life and how that is viewed.  I think a little introspection is always a good thing.

Chris and I have talked about our legacy many times. It is weird to think about what we will leave behind but I think it is one of our conversations lately that has sparked a lot of soul searching for me.

We stopped at the cemetery last week so I could visit my sweet blogger friend Amy’s gravesite one more time before we moved.  As we stopped and walked around a bit Chris spied a huge monument that he thought was a grave marker.  We have always talked about what type of memorial marker we want to leave behind and Chris muses often that he is going to break the bank on his and have it be huge and engraved with many of his “Chrisisms”.  I am hoping that he is joking about that because honestly I doubt our boys will ever feel the need to visit our gravesite.  I could be wrong but I don’t think that is going to be a huge necessity for them.

 

But what I think about is more along the lines of what people will remember me for.  I think it is a good thing to sit back and take a look at, don’t you?  I don’t need to be famous or rich or any of that but I do hope that when I breathe my final breath I will be satisfied that I lived a good life.

I want people to remember me as a kind person who gave unconditionally.  I honestly work on that every day.  I am always a work in progress and know that I, like John Wesley, am striving for perfection.  It is not a goal I will most likely attain but I can work towards it.

I have a lot to work on to become the person that I feel God wants me to be.  I need to accept people for who they are and not be judgmental when they do not do as “I” think they should do.  I need to not be so sensitive at times and over reactive to situations. I need to focus on others even more than I do now.  It’s all a process, isn’t it?  But with each passing day I realize that all I can do is try to use the gifts and graces that I have been given to the best of my ability.

I do know one thing for sure.  The one thing I am leaving behind at our home in Iowa is the smiley face I made in the concrete by our back steps.

smiley

 

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34 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. Darlene
    July 16, 2015 at 07:10 am

    The smiley face is a good thing to leave behind, whether in concrete or on your lovely, kind face. I must say I ponder on this myself.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 16, 2015 at 07:12 am

      I am not alone? Is it because we are getting older? I just never really thought about it when I was younger so I suspect that is part of it.

      Reply
      1. Darlene
        July 19, 2015 at 04:08 am

        I´m sure it is because we are getting older.

        Reply
        1. Beth Ann Chiles
          July 19, 2015 at 08:38 am

          I think you are right about that, Darlene. 🙂

          Reply
  2. Minnesota Prairie Roots
    July 16, 2015 at 08:01 am

    You and your smiley faces. Love this signature left behind. Your legacy (for me) is one of a caring, kind, compassionate, faithful, loving…friend. You have blessed me beyond measure.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 16, 2015 at 08:07 am

      Don’t you wonder sometimes what others see in you? I think it is good to sit back and take stock every now and then and re evaluate what that should be. And I think it changes from time to time as well. Thank you for your kind words. That was not the point of the post to elicit sweet responses like yours but it was nice to hear. Thank you.

      Reply
  3. Mama's Empty Nest
    July 16, 2015 at 08:06 am

    Leaving behind a smile is an awesome thing! I do believe once we pass a certain age (it happened for me in my early 50’s), material things don’t matter a bit. We tend to think about what people will remember about us when we’re gone so making memories for our families and friends becomes even more important. I’m positive you’ll be remembered for your kindness. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 16, 2015 at 08:17 am

      See–you reaffirmed what I think that once you hit a certain age things kind of shift. I agree. Spending time with family and friends top the list now and while I do like my “things” I realize the impermanence of them and how they are not the real things that matter to me. Thanks for your kind words.

      Reply
  4. poemsandponderings
    July 16, 2015 at 09:33 am

    A True Legacy

    If you leave behind a memory
    full of faith and love and living
    then you’ll depart this mortal coil
    needing not forgiving.

    Jake.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 16, 2015 at 09:35 am

      Love this, Jake! Thank you for your poetry!

      Reply
      1. poemsandponderings
        July 16, 2015 at 10:33 am

        Always a pleasure Beth Ann.

        Reply
  5. Josh steiner
    July 16, 2015 at 10:08 am

    I’m too shallow to comment effectively, here. But I’ll try. I’ve only been reading your posts for a couple of weeks now, but the posts I’ve read, are introspective, sweet and strive to leave the reader a better person. I suspect you’ve been doing this for a long time and I truly believe that you’ve touched the hearts of many. The smile in the concrete… That’s gravy!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 16, 2015 at 10:13 am

      Ah heck— aren’t you sweet? And I love your foodie term for my concrete impression I hope to leave. You, my new friend, are witty beyond words. I love your reviews!

      Reply
  6. donnahup
    July 16, 2015 at 01:24 pm

    Beth Ann, you have taught me how to be a better listener and friend. You are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met both in your words to other and actions. I am so thankful for your friendship. As far as Chris, I think he should publish a book on his Chrisisms. I would buy one 🙂

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 16, 2015 at 01:27 pm

      Thanks so much. I did not write this post to elicit all these sweet comments. I really didn’t. I just was feeling so introspective and this is what came out. I am so thankful for our friendship as well and know that we will always be connected. Thanks for taking the time to stop and read and comment.

      Reply
      1. donnahup
        July 17, 2015 at 08:14 am

        I know you didn’t and it’s a good thing to think about. I remember when my mom passed away and seeing all the lives she touched. That really made an impact on me.

        Reply
        1. Beth Ann Chiles
          July 17, 2015 at 08:18 am

          I think when someone passes it is natural to think of what impact you yourself will leave on the world. I just want to be like the Amy Grant song and have people say “she had her Father’s eyes”. That would be perfect .

          Reply
  7. Delores Malcomson
    July 16, 2015 at 02:50 pm

    Great reflection! I have many of the same thoughts that you have written. Still trying to evaluate my thoughts and actions towards people and life, in general, as I pass each year of my life. Trying to become a better person, and the person that God would like me to be. Thanks for sharing this post.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 16, 2015 at 02:56 pm

      Thank you so much for stopping by, Delores, and taking the time to comment. It is always wonderful to find others who are like minded and I suspect we are. It is a daily journey for me and one that I will always be on I suspect. Great to have your insight. Thanks again.

      Reply
  8. Deb Hild
    July 16, 2015 at 05:23 pm

    Thank you for visiting her. Your kindness goes beyond words. It’s in what you do. Blessings in your new home. We will miss you in north Iowa!!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 16, 2015 at 05:26 pm

      Thank you, Deb. I have been reliving “Amy” all week as I have been going through photos for upcoming blog posts and I must admit it has been tough. But nothing compared to what you and your family and Spenser have had to go through. She will always be in my heart as will her precious family. Thank you for the well wishes. I will still be out here–just not in Mason City. 🙂

      Reply
  9. jenieats
    July 16, 2015 at 05:33 pm

    I also want to buy a book of Chris’s Chrisisms. I am so beyond blessed to have you as a friend. You leave kindness everywhere you turn. Didn’t know there’s a smiley face in your cement, either!

    Reply
  10. Helen Brown
    July 16, 2015 at 09:09 pm

    I think you are so right in what you have written today. You practice what you preach and I am very proud of you.

    Reply
  11. pattisj
    July 17, 2015 at 01:41 am

    I hope the smiling face brings a smile to the new owners.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 17, 2015 at 07:05 am

      I hope so! They have 2 little girls so I wonder who will find it first?

      Reply
  12. Hilary
    July 17, 2015 at 05:34 am

    That happy face is the best…. When I think of you I think of unconditional love – I will never forget all your love and support you gave me (and the shawl) after Sandy

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 17, 2015 at 07:05 am

      Thanks, Hilary. I had honestly forgotten about the shawl. See–my memory is going. Sigh. The smiley face will always be a part of the house here –or until they redo the concrete. 🙂

      Reply
  13. Gibber
    July 18, 2015 at 04:54 pm

    You’re one of the kindest most generous people I have the pleasure of knowing. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 19, 2015 at 08:41 am

      Back at ya! I think you have a very big heart as well! And that, my friend, is a good thing!

      Reply
      1. Gibber
        July 19, 2015 at 10:21 am

        Thank you Beth Ann. 🙂

        Reply
  14. Priscilla King
    July 20, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    🙂 Smileys to the smiley.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 21, 2015 at 11:19 am

      🙂

      Reply
  15. Mark
    July 21, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    Your post that indicated you wanted to be known as “a kind person who gave unconditionally.” You have succeeded in that! I think that phrase embodies who you are, perfectly!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      July 22, 2015 at 09:00 am

      I had messed around with this old post and it obviously reposted and sent email notifications. Oops. It is a very interesting place though and the food was ‘substantial”. Not too many of these fun diners left so that was the draw for me.

      Reply

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