It’s a good question, isn’t it? What will I leave behind? I think about this more often than I would like to admit and I suspect it has something to do with being 55. The other day when I was shopping I was asked if I was 55 or older because I could get an extra 10% off my purchase. Of course I said proudly that I was because I wanted that extra savings but honestly it has never been difficult for me to say my age. After all it is just a number and why not be honest?
As time goes on I find myself thinking more and more about what I will leave behind. Oh I don’t mean riches and lasting monuments because that is not really part of my life but I wonder about what others see in me and my life and how that is viewed. I think a little introspection is always a good thing.
Chris and I have talked about our legacy many times. It is weird to think about what we will leave behind but I think it is one of our conversations lately that has sparked a lot of soul searching for me.
We stopped at the cemetery last week so I could visit my sweet blogger friend Amy’s gravesite one more time before we moved. As we stopped and walked around a bit Chris spied a huge monument that he thought was a grave marker. We have always talked about what type of memorial marker we want to leave behind and Chris muses often that he is going to break the bank on his and have it be huge and engraved with many of his “Chrisisms”. I am hoping that he is joking about that because honestly I doubt our boys will ever feel the need to visit our gravesite. I could be wrong but I don’t think that is going to be a huge necessity for them.
But what I think about is more along the lines of what people will remember me for. I think it is a good thing to sit back and take a look at, don’t you? I don’t need to be famous or rich or any of that but I do hope that when I breathe my final breath I will be satisfied that I lived a good life.
I want people to remember me as a kind person who gave unconditionally. I honestly work on that every day. I am always a work in progress and know that I, like John Wesley, am striving for perfection. It is not a goal I will most likely attain but I can work towards it.
I have a lot to work on to become the person that I feel God wants me to be. I need to accept people for who they are and not be judgmental when they do not do as “I” think they should do. I need to not be so sensitive at times and over reactive to situations. I need to focus on others even more than I do now. It’s all a process, isn’t it? But with each passing day I realize that all I can do is try to use the gifts and graces that I have been given to the best of my ability.
I do know one thing for sure. The one thing I am leaving behind at our home in Iowa is the smiley face I made in the concrete by our back steps.