When I die I want people to know that I loved them and that they were important to me. It’s a simple goal but one that hit me this week as I scrolled through Facebook.
I was “reminded” by Facebook of the birthday of a fellow blogger friend that I hadn’t heard from in quite awhile. I had visited his blog last year and left a message on an old post. He never responded but then I hadn’t seen him write a post for quite awhile so I didn’t think much more about it at the time. Bloggers come and go.
When the birthday reminder came up I went to his Facebook page and saw birthday messages (including mine from last year) but no other activity. And then I looked a bit closer and saw the RIP message. My heart fell. My friend, Jack aka Jake had passed and I didn’t even know it.
Some of my long time readers here may remember Jack aka Jake Downing who blogged at Poems and Ponderings He was one of my biggest fans and we had a really great blogger support system going for a long time. His wife’s name was Beth and we had a lot of things in common. He was a wonderful poet and I loved reading what he wrote. I had a lot of respect for this veteran and Postal employee. So when I did a little search and found his obituary from last May it made me more than a little sad and I just can’t shake it.
So I guess it made me think a little bit about life and death and how social media has changed things surrounding those topics a bit. Even though I was subscribing to his blog and followed him in other ways I didn’t even know. I suspect that he got sick and the blog was the last thing on his mind. So it made me think about when I die…if I am still blogging…how I want my readers to find out.
I am always pretty open here on It’s Just Life although there are some topics that I don’t write about. Some things are just too personal and some things just don’t need to be shared, right? But one thing I know is that the people that I love know that I love them and my blog followers know that I am nothing if I am not sincere about my gratefulness to them for taking the time to read my posts. So I am going to take steps to make sure that if this blog is still going when my end time is near I will make sure that my readers are allowed to be a part of that part of my story as well. Not wanting to be morbid here but it seems like a way I can continue to share my love with my readers by allowing them to know what has happened, right?
So if you are reading today know that you are loved and that you are important to me. Whether we have met in real life yet or not is unimportant. Just knowing that you took the time to click and read makes my day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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17 Comments
Leave a commentI know what you mean. There’s a blogger who I had a very good relationship as well, Mountain Woman. We even exchanged gifts and I thought of how fun it would be to visit her farm. I’ve tried to connect with her several times, several ways and heard nothing. No email response, nothing on FB and no more blog posts from her. I wonder what happened.
Oh Karen, that is too bad you can’t find her. I have another friend (blogger) that I have tried to reach out to as well but no contact in any way I can find works. It is sad, isn’t it, when someone just kind of disappears from life without any knowledge of what is going on? I guess your heart is just like mine!
This has happened to me a few times already, where i have found someone in my social media world has passed away. I always try to reach out to the family if possible and send my condolences. Our blogging/social media friends are important to us. Perhaps we should let our family members know to inform these people as well. In the meantime, it is good to know we all love and care about each other. xo
I have a plan to put into place but probably should actually write that final blog post and put it someplace in a draft form or something, But who knows how long I will keep blogging….
Oh Beth , you are so sweet. Perhaps we should make sure our family know our passwords!
Yep–that goes in the Death Book, right? I am putting Aaron in charge since he does all my blog stuff. 🙂 Lucky guy!
A Death Book…not sure what that is but it sounds useful.
I’ve thought about this as well. I don’t think it’s being morbid to think about what you want done with your social media when you pass from this life, I think it’s just a part of life we should prepare for.
I think a lot of us long time bloggers think about this and how to handle it. I have a plan. 🙂
Beth Ann I couldn’t have said it better. As nance ( wife) says “as long as you are on this side of the sod there is always hope”. With my late father being a beat cop in a major northern city during the 60’s and 70’s the issue of death was never really talked about but it was always there. What I didn’t understand those lessons I learned from him would help me deal with nance as I have been facing my life’s biggest hurdle so far with her health. The reality is she is frail and I could walk upstairs and fine her gone. As you well know life is not a race to see who gets the most stuff. Nance has been an Rn for over 40 years ( she is about 10 years older) and she has shared that in all the times she has been by a dying person’s death bed not once has anyone asked to see something material one more time.
Oh I so understand the situation that you are in and am sending all of my good thoughts your way. It has to be so very tough! I agree–it is the relationships and the friendships that mean the most and that is what I cherish. Honestly there are very few personal items that I could not part with (and I have many!) but friendships and family—those are the things that mean the most to me. Blessings to you and your sweet Nance.
Such a sad story, Beth Ann. I imagine it happens more than we know. We’re blessed to be part of this loving, supportive blogging community, whether we’ve actually met one another or not. Finding out on Facebook that someone has passed seems incredibly sterile to me though.
Oh, Beth Ann, I am sorry about Jack aka Jake. I, too, followed him for quite some time and enjoyed his writing. I am sad to learn of his passing.
I know— I was so sad to find out. I never had his address so can’t even send his wife a note. I hope he knew how much we enjoyed his writing and humor.
I understand not knowing that a friend or family member has passed and you did’t know. Very sad indeed. It sounds like you have everything covered, Beth Ann.
Those are tough moments indeed. It is equally tough when you get a notification about helping someone celebrate their birthday years after they have passed away. Your perspective provides me with insights that I would never acquire if you hadn’t created the ripple in Mason City Iowa.Thanks for helping me grow and trying to keep those ripples alive here in North Iowa.
I have thought about this too. Don’t know what would happen to my blog, should think about that. More importantly I think we need something in writing about Katie if we were to die unexpectedly.