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June 29, 2017

How Do I Remain Positive? A Few Tips from Yours Truly.

19 Comments/ 521/ 1

Woe is me.

Recently I seem to be surrounded by a lot of Negative Nellies.  Not in my real life, mind you, but more in my online and virtual life.

Ugh.

That’s my reaction.

Most of the negativity I have been reading has been on a favorite social media neighborhood site called Nextdoor.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I love Nextdoor.  Just last week I got rid of a no longer needed chair in a matter of 5 minutes from when I posted so I do use the app.

But what have I noticed lately?  It seems to be where malcontents hang out.

The latest news in our area is the arrival of a Dollar General store.  It is almost like the end of the world for some people here and while I will not belittle their concerns of “bright signage ruining our quaint area” I do question their passion about something that will also provide an alternative to some people who might need that alternative.

I found myself getting caught up in all of the posts.  Every new comment added started to make me crazy because I obviously do not share the passion that these people share in opposition to the arrival of this particular store.

I stopped to think about what I am passionate about.  Little Free Libraries.   I might be trying to get those empty paper boxes that are just sitting at the site of said new Dollar General store behind a backhoe.  Yes.  That is my current passion and the people that are so vocal about this issue are not passionate about what I am passionate about so I guess it makes sense.

We all have things we care about.  They don’t have to be the same.

Respect is the key.

So I choose to remain positive by:

  1. Not reading those posts that do not engage me.
  2. Ignoring mean and snarky comments.
  3. Refocusing my own attention to something that I am passionate about and a place where I can make a difference.
  4. Continually looking for the positive in something and NOT the negative.
  5. Enjoying the world around me and all of the positive things that I see.

While I respect everyone’s right to their opinions and their passions I find that sometimes that can turn into a negative for me.  So instead I refocus.  I look at my own world and what I am passionate about.  I make baby steps to make a difference.

How do you refocus negativity in your life?  Tell me all about it in the comments section.  Our Comments for a Cause for The Lakeside Fund is winding down for the month and a new cause will be announced on July 3rd this month instead of the 1st in order to give me a bit more time.  Plus you will be busy this weekend and not reading anyway, right?

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19 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. Darlene
    June 29, 2017 at 07:16 am

    I agree, life is too short to get involved with negativity. Reading your posts are always a positive experience for me!!

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      June 29, 2017 at 07:44 am

      You are so sweet! Thanks!

      Reply
  2. jena c. henry
    June 29, 2017 at 08:10 am

    Awesome post! I realize that the post wasn’t about Dollar General per se, that it was about so much more, but speaking of Dollar General, I have to say I was wrong. As you know, a new one went in close to Lakeside. Now, I wasn’t upset about that, but I had no interest in the store. I didn’t go in it the first year it was there. Then, one day, I needed batteries and I didn’t feel like driving to the big box store and walking miles thru it for double A’s. So, I drove to DG walked in and loved it! I loved the yellow carts and yellow bags. I loved that it had brand name products at great prices and friendly clerks and fun surprises. It amazes me how much they carry. One day, my son needed electrical tape. Yep, they had it. And everyone shopping at the story is nice, too so, I think your neighbors will end up liking it , and somehow the home values will stay ok! As far as negative or snarky comments, not for me either. Sometime social media gets to be a contest- who can come up with the spiciest comment. Or the longest comment- I’m done now! Have a great day.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      June 29, 2017 at 09:02 am

      I have been to that Dollar store near Lakeside several times! It is the perfect place to shop for those things you need on vacation and don’t want to spend mega bucks on! I got tablecloths for picnics there several years in a row. And yes–sometimes it is a battle on social media and I choose to usually (though not always) not engage. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  3. Marci B
    June 29, 2017 at 08:57 am

    Haha! I know what you mean about Nextdoor, Beth Ann. I hardly ever go on it – maybe just to check the events section. And you know what? That Dollar General? It will be what it will be. It’s not like there aren’t already some “not-so-nice” buildings on that stretch anyway. Plus, have you ever driven up See-Off Road past the recycling place? At the very top of the hill there is a beautiful community, but in-between it and the recycling place, there are homes that clearly belong to some very needy people, so this store could be a huge help to them. I don’t mind. And like Jena, I avoided the Dollar Tree down by Walgreen’s for a long time, but wow, everything in that store is literally a dollar or less! How can you pass that up when you need a greeting card, or a hand mirror for traveling, or extra wine glasses for a party? Not me! I’m on a fixed income! 🙂

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      June 29, 2017 at 09:05 am

      Exactly! You and I are on the same page on this one for sure. My point, which I did not make on Nextdoor due to it becoming a firestorm, is that this store may not be for “us” who are privileged to live in a gated community. Sometimes we have to see beyond ourselves and yes–there is a great deal of p0verty here. When I hear about how many people actually live in the forest it makes me so sad! So yes–it may mean we have a bit more traffic there and maybe a yellow sign or two but honestly–in the big scheme of things—not a huge deal to me. Although obviously to others it is. And we are all allowed to have our opinions. I just choose to focus on something else this time. Thanks for your thoughts!

      Reply
  4. McGuffy's Reader
    June 29, 2017 at 09:05 am

    Excellent tips. This is something that I have a hard time with: negativity. It is a cancer, a blight on relationships. It brings people down. I have lost two people that I thought were friends, because of their negativity. One insisted on complaining about things that many would be happy to have on their plate. The other spouted negative politics incessantly. When I tried to turn the conversations positive, I was told off that I don’t get it or am mean. Really?! I just want to try to stay focused on the good things and be thankful for the blessings I do have. We are not supposed to wallow in the mire with our friends. We are supposed to lift them up and remind them of the reasons to go on…the blessings that sustain us. Thank you, my friend, for being a blessing. Hugs.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      June 29, 2017 at 09:06 am

      YES! A million times yes! And this is why I love my readers. Positive and uplifting. That is what I want to surround myself with! Thank YOU!

      Reply
  5. Kathy Joy
    June 29, 2017 at 09:07 am

    Hi Beth Ann, I gave just started reading your posts and find myself looking forward to them daily. I would love to see you when you are in Lakeside again. I was a teenager when your Dad was the Minister at Montfort Heights U M Church in Cincinnati. He was such an influence to me. If you would like to reconnect just email me when you are in Lakeside. Take care, Kathy Joy

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      June 29, 2017 at 09:35 am

      Hi Kathy! Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such a sweet comment. I love when people enjoy my posts and it makes it even better when I can meet some of those virtual friends in real life! I think you must have had another minister who was pivotal in your life–my dad never served in Cincinnati (He was always in small rural churches in East Ohio) but I love that you had such positive experiences growing up. I would love to meet you next time I am in Lakeside and thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. It means a lot!

      Reply
  6. Minnesota Prairie Roots
    June 29, 2017 at 10:13 am

    This is one of the things I love about you Beth Ann–your positivity. You are such an encourager and glass half full kind of person that being around you or hearing from you simply makes me happy.

    As far as the Dollar Store, I love it. It’s my go-to place for greeting cards and gift wrapping supplies.

    I’ve never heard of Nextdoor. But then again I am not into apps and many social media things.

    Reply
    1. Beth Ann Chiles
      June 29, 2017 at 10:32 am

      I agree that the Dollar Store is a great source of a lot of great things. I think it is smart to shop there! Nextdoor is a really good place to find out about your neighborhood, put things up for sale or giveaway and find out about things going on in the area. But like with any social media outlet people can be whiny. 🙂 That is what I avoid.

      Reply
  7. Under the Oaks
    June 29, 2017 at 11:07 am

    I think it really is a challenge to stay positive on social media. It can be a very judgmental place and feelings get hurt easily and words are misunderstood. I have cut way back on commenting on blogs and I pretty much have stopped doing anything on Facebook. I stick with blogs I feel safe at and I try to keep my comments light and happy. I like your 5 points to remain positive.

    Reply
  8. Jeni / JeniEats (@JeniEats)
    June 29, 2017 at 08:53 pm

    I don’t know what Next Door is but now I’m curious! You are one of the most positive people I know.

    Reply
  9. Josh
    June 30, 2017 at 11:42 am

    Hahaha I find nextdoor funny for those reasons… There’s a new development out here & the old development that’s been here for ever Fearrington… The kind folks of Fearrington are butt hurt about the new development. The new development (Briar Chapel) their residents are constantly butt hurt about non residents swimming in their pool (despite the fact they have to pay a 700 dollar fee for non residents)… Either way It’s fun to watch all these rich, white people with nothing better to do than bitch. hahahaha. I don’t let the negativity get to me, I just find the humor in it!

    Reply
  10. Dianna
    July 01, 2017 at 04:53 pm

    We have Nextdoor, and I glance at it, but I don’t really get involved. I have found that, sadly, the internet provides so many opportunities for folks to be ugly with each other….whether it’s on our local tv station’s Facebook page or the chat associated with the live cam at “April’s” giraffe barn. It’s so sad that many are so quick to jump down another person’s throat, just because we have a different opinion of something. But, to be honest, I think sometimes, it’s difficult to know exactly how a written (or typed) phrase is meant. You can’t hear the tone in which it’s said, and I think someone can immediately go on the defense when they read something in a different way in which its meant.

    Reply
  11. Val - Corn, Beans, Pigs & Kids
    July 02, 2017 at 05:47 pm

    Amen! Staying away from negative people or negative posts is the best way to stay positive I believe.

    Reply
  12. Ask and Ye Shall Receive - It's Just Life
    July 06, 2017 at 06:00 am

    […] a little story about negativity in our little community and how I deal with it.  You can read that post here.  In the post I alluded to a set of realty literature boxes that were on a site that I had my eyes […]

    Reply
  13. Mama's Empty Nest
    July 07, 2017 at 03:35 pm

    Yep, I’m with you on this one. I get annoyed by all the negative posts on social media and do the same as you – try to ignore the snarky, rude stuff, stop reading the negative comments, and try to refocus…even when I don’t agree. Not an easy task, but what we all should do! And as far as the Dollar General store – I guess I can see where some folks might think it’s tacky, but honestly, there are many out there struggling with finances and budgeting to make ends meet that this store may be a godsend for. When people complain about things like that, it just makes me think they are snobby and feel superior to those who struggle, and I certainly don’t like that attitude.

    Reply

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