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June 29, 2020

The Dementia Journey Continues

8 Comments/ 70/ 1

The absolutely most difficult thing during this Covid -19 pandemic as I have written before is not being able to see my mom. With the spread of the virus at care centers is it so important to adhere to their restrictions and I am happy to do that but it has been hard when my only means of communicating with my mom has been letters and cards. She may not realize who they are from some days but I know that she gets them. Before Mother’s Day they stopped allowing even mail to go to her unit at Crandall Medical Center. I understand but boy – it made me sad. They just did not want to take any chances with anything coming in or extra people passing through the units.

My mom has also not been good with phone calls for a very long time. She can’t always carry on a good conversation and it often turned out to be more frustrating than helpful to make those calls so I have not done them for awhile. When we were all able to visit the siblings or The Village as we call ourselves would visit and share pictures and reports after those visits which helped all of us get through. A lot of my friends with parents in care facilities have done FaceTime visits and my one friend in particular, Jane, who has a mom in Connecticut urged me to try it. So I messaged the director of her unit last week and later on in the week she set up a FaceTime with my mom.

To actually see my mom and interact with her was wonderful. I was so thrilled to see her and hear her voice. Jane was absolutely correct – it made a huge difference to be able to have that conversation. My mom probably wasn’t quite sure who I was but we carried on a conversation and for the most part it made sense. I made her laugh a couple of times, told her a secret and told her how much I loved her. The best thing? She told me she loved me as well.

I have always been one to not want to impose on anyone which is why I was reluctant to ask anyone to facilitate the FaceTime but the director was happy to do it and chose a time that was good for her and when my mom was in a really good mood. That helped. She would probably hate that I took a screenshot and am sharing it but this shows us both smiling and happy and I want to remember this forever and my blog is a great place to save the memory.

The great news is that Copeland Oaks and Crandall have started a little program called Love Letters where individuals can send via email a note and even a picture to loved ones and staff at both Copeland Oaks and Crandall Medical Center. I have taken advantage of it and have sent several already and several of my friends have sent notes to my mom as well. She won’t know who they are but that does not matter. It is a great way to get some “mail” in her hands. One of her favorite activities in her room is to move all her mail and papers around from a basket that she has sitting on her table. I think it is comforting for her to shuffle through them, look at cards and colorful pictures and it gives her something to do.

So that is what I am doing. I am sending daily notes and pictures to her and to the staff at both Crandall and Copeland. There is even an option to send to a random staff member or resident and I think that is a great thing to be able to do. If you are interested in sending a note to Helen Brown or anyone else just click on this link here to go directly to that page with the form. It is easy and takes minimal time. Thanks in advance.

My mom is doing amazingly well considering everything and it has been a long, long journey this year. I have several friends who have been able to have no contact visits with their loved ones and I am anxiously waiting for the day I can do that but it won’t be anytime soon from the looks of it.North Carolina numbers are rising again. Stay well, my friends, and keep smiling.

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8 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. dawnkinster
    June 29, 2020 at 06:10 am

    Awww, I’m glad you were able to see and hear her. Also goad you got the screen shot. Maybe you can face time again this week. I can attest the link to leave her a message was easy to use .

    Reply
  2. jena c. henry
    June 29, 2020 at 06:56 am

    Thanks for writing a post- now I can keep track of that link, too. I love that photo of your Mom (and you). That is one to cherish.

    Reply
  3. Jill Jeffrey
    June 29, 2020 at 07:32 am

    I have thought of you and your mom often these last weeks. The picture is a treasure!

    Reply
  4. Darlene
    June 29, 2020 at 09:24 am

    I love the idea of the Love Letters! I have sent your mom a note and a picture of Dot. I hope it makes her happy. I haven´t been able to connect with my mom yet but as you saw, my dear granddaughter was able to have a distancing visit and sent me some pictures. It was hard as she couldn’t hug her great grandmother but she could tell her she loved her. There were tears. A tough time for us with loved ones in care homes. But they are keeping them safe, and that is the most important thing. xo

    Reply
  5. dfolstad58
    June 29, 2020 at 10:49 am

    What a sweet post, and I sent a short note to the heroes. I hope you have a terrific day. I think you are doing the best you can under the situation. Hang in there. – David

    Reply
  6. Shirley Matthews Dunn
    June 29, 2020 at 11:33 am

    So glad you were able to see and talk to your Mom. What a blessing indeed. I loved the smiles on both of your faces. Just sent a note to your Mom. Hope it brings her a little joy.

    Reply
  7. Minnesota Prairie Roots
    June 29, 2020 at 12:57 pm

    You are making the best of a really difficult situation. You know my heart understands…

    Reply
  8. Mama's Empty Nest
    June 30, 2020 at 11:34 am

    I just love this so much! That smile on her face is priceless <3

    Reply

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